


I Fall Endlessly Again

by seathehorizon



Series: Sugakookie Bingo [4]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Blowjobs, But he's kind of a dick and not really important, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Jeongguk already has a crush on Yoongi, Light Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, Rated for Jeongguk's mind tbh, Rated for future chapters, Set outside Korea, Slow Burn, Smut, Square: fake dating, Yoongi has a boyfriend at first, handjobs, mention of masturbation, they're both very oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-08-22 07:51:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seathehorizon/pseuds/seathehorizon
Summary: “I'll do it.”Jeongguk’s eyes widened when he realised he'd just spoken out loud. Judging by the looks on everyone else’s faces, they hadn’t expected this either, but he couldn’t very well take it back now.Yoongi needs someone to pretend to be his boyfriend so his parents will get off his back (and he kind of hates his current boyfriend) and Jeongguk quickly agrees to take up the part. Because, hey, he's already seen him with a real one; why not use this as an opportunity?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 'fake dating'. :) I don't think this will be very long, but we'll see! Btw, Yoongi's boyfriend isn't based on anyone, I just needed someone who was an ass.

“Careful, careful!”

Seokjin sounded panicked already when all Namjoon was doing was carrying some glasses to the table. To be fair, they were crystal (why Seokjin owned crystal glasses and why on earth he was using them tonight, Jeongguk didn’t know) and Namjoon did have a bit of a track record of dropping and breaking things, but in Jeongguk’s opinion he should be carrying them himself if he was that concerned.

“I _am_ being careful,” Namjoon replied, a hint of exasperation to his tone. “I’ve never been more careful in my life.” He placed the glasses on the table and turned back to face Seokjin triumphantly. Jeongguk half expected him to accidentally sweep everything off the table, and judging by Seokjin’s expression, he did too, but they were safe. Jeongguk stepped around them to put down the plates, his task of the evening done. Jimin and Hoseok were helping in the kitchen and Taehyung... Well, Taehyung had helped set the table in what he deemed a pretty way since he hated cooking with a passion and had done everything possible to avoid helping out.

“Thank you,” Seokjin said, “now please sit down and don’t touch anything.”

Jeongguk decided to do the same thing. As he pulled out his chair, the front door opened and Yoongi, Seokjin’s roommate and the last of their little group to arrive, walked inside. Jeongguk perked up immediately, the sight of the other man always enough to put him in a better mood.

Yoongi was… special. Well, to Jeongguk, at least. He had a calming aura and had a knack for making Jeongguk feel comfortable and safe without even really trying. They’d gone through some awkward phases at first with uncomfortable silences, neither of them particularly socially inclined - not like the rest of their group, at least, who seemed capable of making friends everywhere -, yet they’d become good friends soon enough. Especially after Yoongi had found an upset Jeongguk hiding away in the university library one day, his homesickness having gotten to him. Yoongi had listened to him talk of home and his family and his dog, and at the end of Jeongguk’s ramble, when he was starting to feel embarrassed, Yoongi had shown him pictures of his own dog back at his parents’, Holly, which had led to something of a bonding session, ending with Yoongi taking him out for a meal and some drinks.

Perhaps it had started then.

Or perhaps it had been the time they’d been at a party and when Jeongguk had gone to look for Yoongi, hoping for a familiar face that wouldn’t drag him out onto the dancefloor (not yet, okay; he was much more shy back then and unless they’d get enough alcohol in him, he was sticking to the walls). He had found him easily enough, but considering how Yoongi had had a random guy (apparently not actually that random: the guy’s name was Kihyun and there was some history between the two, not that Jeongguk knew this at the time) sucking on his neck, Jeongguk had decided not to interrupt and instead stalked off with his face burning. The image of Yoongi with his head thrown back, eyes closed and lips parted, hand tightly fisted in Kihyun’s hair, had haunted Jeongguk for weeks. He wasn’t sure when he’d started picturing himself in Kihyun’s position, but it had been a turning point in how he viewed Yoongi for sure.

“Yoongi!” Hoseok entered the room holding a heavy pan, steam rising from the top. It smelled good enough to make Jeongguk’s mouth water, though that might also be because he hadn’t eaten much today. “Glad you’re here: Mike messaged me, told me to tell you to call him!”

Jeongguk promptly felt less hungry. Mike was, unfortunately, Yoongi's boyfriend.

To everyone’s surprise, Yoongi’s face twisted into a scowl and he threw his bag aside angrily, making Jimin jump and nearly dump all the sauce in his hands over the floor. “Of course he did. I hope you told him to piss off?”

Hoseok, having successfully put down the pan, held up his hands innocently, eyebrows raised. “Hey, he just asked me to pass on a message. I did. My job here is done.”

“Do we not like Mike anymore?” Taehyung asked. He looked from Yoongi to everyone else, clearly puzzled. Jeongguk knew how he felt: Yoongi had been dating Mike, tall, tanned, muscular Mike, for a while now and they’d seemed fine. Sure, sometimes Mike’s sense of humour clashed with theirs and Jeongguk was biased against him for obvious reasons, but nothing had happened to deem this kind of response. As far as Jeongguk knew, at least.

“Oh, you can like him,” Yoongi said as he plopped down in the chair beside Jeongguk. “Like him all you want. Take him off my hands, I don’t care.” He gratefully accepted the drink Seokjin had poured him - something alcoholic, most likely - and gulped it down.

“Did he do anything?” Jimin asked cautiously, exchanging a nervous glance with Taehyung.

As Seokjin filled up Yoongi’s glass again, Yoongi sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. “He’s driving me crazy, is all. I’d told him I’d be in the studio all day today and afterwards we’d be hanging out, but he’s been ringing and texting me all day to ask me if I’ll go to some party with him. And the other day he showed up after my meeting with Professor Roberts,” she was helping Yoongi with an important internship that could potentially turn into a full-time job; Jeongguk knew how much that meeting meant for him, “all impatient because I’d ignored him all day and then he told me - _told_ me - we were going out for dinner with some of his friends. Where he ordered for me. And denied me all alcohol because he wanted me to drive him home.”

He paused to take another sip, and by now Jeongguk was beginning to understand his frustrations. Jeongguk, too, hated it when people told him what to do, and Yoongi was the type of person who was more likely to do the opposite if you tried to order him around. In short: it was an excellent way for Mike to get in Yoongi's bad books.

“I’m fine with driving, but don’t just _assume_ I will. And when I try to call him out, he seems shocked, actually shocked, like I should just go along with everything he asks of me, like that’s the normal way or something.”

Namjoon hummed and squinted thoughtfully. “I feel like he’s following the classic stereotype of the submissive Asian. Although often applied to women, it’s not rare for men to be shoved into the same archetype. Even if he’s not doing it on purpose, it’s at the very least a lowkey racist assumption, because you’ve never portrayed yourself as being that way.” He leaned forward curiously. “It usually transcends into the bedroom as well - has he shown any signs there?”

“Fascinating as this all is, do we really need to talk about Yoongi’s sex life right now?” Seokjin sighed, piling food on everyone’s plates.

“He has,” Yoongi responded, ignoring Seokjin’s spluttered protests. “Last week I suggested we switch it up and he looked at me like I’d just insulted his ancestors. And don’t get me wrong: not everyone is into everything and that’s absolutely fine, but I know for a fact that he’s bottomed for his exes. Once he realised I’d been serious, he laughed,” Jeongguk winced in sympathy, “and told me there was no way I’d be able to top anyway.”

“Okay, yeah, we no longer like Mike,” Taehyung stated.

“Why are you still with him?” Jimin asked, sounding slightly disgusted.

Yoongi sighed and shook his head, finally starting to eat and reminding Jeongguk to do the same. He’d gotten distracted while listening to Yoongi’s story - not to mention annoyed, because what on earth was Mike’s problem? Okay, Namjoon had explained it, but still, that didn't make it okay.

“Fuck if I know,” Yoongi mumbled as he shovelled more food into his mouth. “Actually, no, I do know: my parents.”

“Your parents want you to stay with him?” Jeongguk asked before he could stop himself, slamming his mouth shut immediately after. Stupid question: Yoongi’s parents - his dad, mostly - hated the fact that Yoongi wasn’t straight, so of course they didn’t want that. If anything, Jeongguk expected them to be overjoyed, as it offered Yoongi the opportunity to find a cisgirlfriend they could approve of. Luckily, Yoongi didn’t seem offended and merely snorted.

“No, but when I told them I was dating a guy, my dad told me it would never last. Because, you know, any relationship that’s not heteronormative doesn’t work.”

Hoseok shook his head sadly. “Damn, I better tell my mums they’ve been doing it wrong all these years.”

“So I told him he was wrong and now I’m determined to prove that this can work,” Yoongi continued, undeterred. He pouted down at his plate and shoved the remaining food around with his chopsticks. “Which means I’m stuck with him forever now.” He groaned, distressed. “God, maybe I’ll even need to marry him.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes while Jeongguk ignored the funny feeling in his stomach at the mental image of Yoongi marrying Mike. Or anyone, really. “Yes, I’m sure he’d love to take you as his lawful, spiteful husband,” Seokjin said dryly.

“But your parents understand that relationships can end, right?” Jimin asked. “Heterosexual couples don’t always work out either.”

“That’s not the point,” Yoongi insisted. “It’s the principle of the matter!”

Jeongguk wasn’t even going to pretend to understand what Yoongi was on about, but he found himself thinking it was endearing that he felt so strongly about something that shouldn’t at all be the big deal he was making it out to be. God, he was really in trouble, wasn’t he?

Jimin smacked Taehyung's hand away from his plate where he’d been trying to steal some kimchi, frowning over at Yoongi, unwilling to let this go. “Would they ever even find out? There's no need for them to meet, right?”

“Except they're coming to the showcase at the end of the semester,” Yoongi reminded them. “And they've said they expect to meet my boyfriend.” He held up his hand when Jimin tried to speak again. “They know he goes to our uni too and will be there no matter what, which means…”

“You can't come up with an excuse for him not being there,” Taehyung answered for him, nodding in understanding.

The showcase was exactly what it sounded like: a way for the students to show their talents before an audience, be it displaying their artwork in a gallery set-up or performing in the auditorium. It was always a big deal and although Yoongi's parents usually didn't attend, they had decided to be there this year, for whatever reason. This had initially been a good thing, because as much as Yoongi tried to deny it, part out him did search out their approval. Now, however, it appeared to be more of a nuisance than a blessing.

Seokjin clicked his tongue and put more food on his already empty plate. “Do they know what he looks like? If not, you could hire someone for the day to pretend.”

Jeongguk stopped chewing for a moment and exchanged a glance with an exasperated-looking Jimin. What?

“Nah, they don't even know his name,” Yoongi revealed, gesturing for Seokjin to fill up his glass again, frustration most likely making him drink faster than usual.

“Wait, what?” Hoseok asked, laughing in mild disbelief. “How did you not share his name?”

A shrug was Yoongi’s answer. He swirled the liquid around in his glass and watched it intently. “My parents asked about him, sure, but they seemed uninterested and judgemental. And so I stuck to just telling them the basics.”

“How is his name not part of the basics?” Hoseok asked incredulously, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

“Actually, I get that.” Of course Namjoon did. “If you're concerned about being judged, it feels safer to keep personal information to yourself and a name is part of that. A name narrows things down, paints a picture of him, while them knowing no more than him being a fellow male student is impersonal, which means they have less to judge him - and therefore you - by.” He motioned towards Yoongi. “What _have_ you told them?”

Yoongi took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling. “Well, they know he's younger than me, though not by how much. Arts department. Erm…” He played with his ear and Jeongguk had to suppress a smile at the sight. It was a habit of his Jeongguk was very much in love- like with, like the way he’d nod along to his own words sometimes, his mumbling, his shy little smile. “I think I told them he's bigger than me? My dad made an insensitive twink joke, so I wanted to make it worse by letting him believe he was describing his own son.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows, his lips curling up into a smirk. “I mean…”

“Don't.”

“Okay, well, that's generic enough that Jin's plan may work,” Hoseok admitted as Yoongi glared at Taehyung, though it sounded like it caused him great pain to do so. “And he won't even need to pretend to be Mike, just your boyfriend.” He paused and tilted his head. “Wait, why am I encouraging this?”

“I'll do it.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened when he realised he'd just spoken out loud. Judging by the looks on everyone else’s faces, they hadn’t expected this either, but he couldn’t very well take it back now. As much as he wished he could, since wow, torture much? Pretending to date someone he was actually crushing on - great idea, Jeongguk, this couldn’t possibly go wrong! Taehyung seemed to be thinking along the same lines, the look in his eyes portraying an urgent panic, while Jimin was shuffling in his seat awkwardly. Both of them knew about Jeongguk’s crush and he was sure they’d confront him about this later.

Right now, however, a hopeful Yoongi was turned towards him and that was all he could focus on.

“Are you sure?” Yoongi asked him, taking in Jeongguk’s expression as if to look for any hint of doubt or regret. “I know it’s kind of strange, and I could ask anyone else if you aren’t.”

“I already know you,” Jeongguk replied, hardly able to believe he was honest to god coming up with reasons to encourage this when Yoongi was still willing to give him an out. After all, he was a decent guy; he’d never allow Jeongguk to be part of this if he thought for even a moment that Jeongguk was hesitant. “You won’t need to tell me about yourself, because we’re friends, and our friends know us,” he gestured at the rest of the table, “and even people on campus know we hang out. Which means we don’t need to come up with too many lies.”

“This is excellent!” Seokjin clapped his hands and straightened up, excited. “Jeongguk even ticks all the boxes: taller and younger, he does music, and he’s part of the showcase. All you need is a story of how you got together.”

“Friends to lovers,” Namjoon suggested. He shrugged when Hoseok looked at him in betrayal. “I know it’s not an ideal solution and I do believe Yoongi should come clean with his parents, but I also understand why that’s complicated. And if Jeongguk is offering to help, then why not take him up on it? At the very least they’d be able to see Yoongi with a sweet guy,” he smiled at them, “and find that he’s not doomed in the relationship department just because he’s attracted to more than one gender.”

Groaning, Hoseok rubbed his temples, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “You guys give me a headache, but fine, I get it. And friends to lovers is legit enough, it happens all the time and I guess it makes for a cute story.”

“Of course it does!” If Jeongguk had thought Seokjin had been excited before, it was nothing compared to now. “Their feelings developed over time, then one day it was just the both of them in Yoongi’s studio, recording late at night, or they got a little tipsy on a night out, and suddenly their eyes met and they both realised that this was what they wanted. It’s perfect!”

“I see you’ve written their entire love story already,” Taehyung said, to which Seokjin merely shrugged. He placed his hand on Jeongguk’s arm and looked him in the eye, inspecting him even more than Yoongi had done. “You’re absolutely sure?” He sighed when Jeongguk nodded emphatically, but seemed to accept his answer.

It would be difficult, seeing what he could have yet likely never would, but he wanted to be there for Yoongi. And, honestly, seeing someone else fake date Yoongi would only be worse.

“Great, then that’s settled! You can discuss the details.” Seokjin looked around the table and frowned when he spotted mostly half full plates. “Why haven’t you guys been eating?”

*******

“Seriously, Jeongguk, what were you thinking?”

It was the next day and Jeongguk was in his dorm with Jimin and Taehyung, who had showed up shortly before noon with snacks and DVDs. A night’s sleep hadn’t made things easier: Jeongguk had woken up at some point and had been unable to fall back asleep when he’d realised he was now Yoongi’s boyfriend. Fake boyfriend, sure, but no one outside their little group would know that part.

The more he’d thought about it, the more he’d worried about what to do now. Yoongi and he had talked in private last night, discussing their expectations and requirements. There wasn’t much: they’d agreed not to tell anyone this was fake, to be a bit more touchy (Yoongi was a big fan of holding hands, especially with the person he was dating, so that was happening), and it had been decided that Jeongguk should tell his parents about their relationship. Jeongguk hated lying to his mother, but he also knew she couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, so he’d simply have to pretend in front of her on the phone - he actually had a phone call scheduled for later and he was immensely nervous about it - and at the showcase, and thereafter for however long this should last.

Fortunately, he’d mentioned his friends a lot whenever he visited home and his parents had asked him in the past if he was by any chance interested in any of them, so they wouldn’t be too surprised. Unfortunately, he’d already told his mum about his feelings for Yoongi and she’d been rooting for him ever since, so she’d probably be over the moon once he told her. God, that only made him feel worse.

“I was thinking Yoongi needed help.” He was aware that he was pouting, yet couldn’t stop himself. All he did was snuggle deeper into the giant rabbit plushie he was holding to hide his face. A plushie that Yoongi had won him at a fair once, because how much more cliché could his life get at this point?

“I know I’m being annoying about this,” Jimin continued, concerned, “but you could get seriously hurt.”

“Or,” Taehyung spoke up, a suspicious glint in his eyes, “this could be exactly what you need.”

Unlikely, but Jeongguk lifted his head to show he’d hear him out. He’d prefer that kind of optimism over doomsday thinking any day.

Jimin appeared more sceptical. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” Taehyung grinned. “Maybe our Kookie could be one of those for whom fake dating turns into real dating.”

Jimin raised his eyebrows at Jeongguk, who felt a confused eagerness and wanting to hear more. Was this something that happened a lot? Because he couldn’t say he’d ever heard of it - or heard much about fake dating to begin with.

Seemingly disappointed at their lack of reaction, Taehyung sighed impatiently and crossed his legs on the bed, leaning in towards the both of them. “Look, there are films about this stuff, and even fanfiction. I started looking into it after I got home and read this really good Harry Potter one where Sirius and Remus pretend to date so they can get Lily and James together - don’t ask - and Remus is actually crushing on Sirius for real, and in the end they get together for real.” He shook Jeongguk’s shoulder enthusiastically. “You could be Remus!”

Frowning, Jeongguk shrugged off Taehyung’s hand. “Okay, but that’s fiction. This is real life.” Had he really been getting his hopes up for this? He appreciated that Taehyung was trying to make him feel better, but by that logic, literally anything was possible.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it works,” Jimin agreed, smiling apologetically at Taehyung’s disappointed face. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t use this to your advantage, Kook. Show him what a good boyfriend you can be, let him see how hot you are, that kind of thing.” Sighing, he laid down on the bed, a soft “oomph” leaving his lips when Taehyung promptly flopped down on him to use his stomach as a pillow.

“For the record, I still think this is a terrible idea,” he went on, “but I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. And if you try to be the best fake boyfriend there ever was, maybe you’ll be a real boyfriend soon. You get me?”

Jeongguk nodded and returned Jimin’s smile as well as he could. “I just need to figure out how to act when we meet his parents.” That was one of his biggest fears: what if he came across so badly that he’d completely ruin whatever was left of Yoongi’s relationship with his parents? Or he’d humiliate them both? Or-

“Just be you,” Taehyung told him, gazing up at him seriously. “I know that’s not helpful, but you’re pretty wonderful, Kookie, and that’s all that matters. And talk to Yoongi about it, ask him what’s okay and what isn’t. Maybe he actually wants to piss them off and he’s expecting you guys to make out in front of them.” When Jeongguk turned pale, he hastily added: “Or not! It was a joke, promise.”

“I’m sure he’ll respect any boundaries you set,” Jimin assured him.

Although Jeongguk agreed with him - Yoongi had already made him swear he’d talk to him about anything he wasn’t okay with - he couldn’t say he really felt any better. He appreciated his friends’ faith in him, but he wasn’t sure how to be a boyfriend at all, so how could he be good enough for Yoongi to start seeing him in a different light? Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he knew how to flirt.

On the other hand, he was nothing if not a perfectionist and he was determined to a fault. Perhaps that little fact could come in very handy right now.

“You know what,” he said, startling Jimin and Taehyung, who had finally started watching whatever DVD they’d put on before this entire conversation, “I’m gonna do it. I’ll be so good he won’t want to fake it anymore.” He flushed red when Jimin burst into giggles and kicked his leg. “You know what I mean!”

“That’s the spirit, Kookie,” Taehyung said, chuckling. “If there’s anything we can do to help, let us know.”

Jimin nodded and reached out to squeeze Jeongguk’s thigh. “We’re here for you, Kook.”

*******

Of course nothing was ever that easy. Jeongguk had considered all aspects of this fake relationship, from dealing with Yoongi’s parents to convincing their peers, but he had completely forgotten about one very important one.

Jimin and Taehyung had left him alone once it came to the time for his phone call with his mum, who had been so happy for him it had been almost painful. His dad had shouted out his congratulations from the background and they insisted on being introduced to him properly next time (they _had_ met Yoongi before and liked him, but they didn’t know him in this context; friend and boyfriend did have a different ring to it). His sense of guilt was off the charts, but he was grateful that if he ever were to truly date Yoongi, he'd have his parents’ blessing.

Now, though, he was faced with Yoongi, who had asked if he could drop by for dinner. He had walked in with two pizza boxes - excellent - but the look on his face had been troubled and his smile fleeting. He had been chewing on his thumb nail ever since he'd sat down, mumbling a thank you when Jeongguk handed him a drink.

“Everything okay?” he asked anxiously, opening the boxes. His face lit up when he spotted pineapple on one of them. Yoongi knew exactly what he liked.

Yoongi inhaled shakily before dropping his hand to his lap and shaking his head. “We've run into a bit of a problem,” Yoongi said solemnly, doing nothing to quell Jeongguk’s worry.

“Why, what happened?”

He breathed out through his nose and picked up a slice of pizza. “It's Mike.”

Ah. Of course. In all the commotion, Jeongguk had almost forgotten about him and how Yoongi had told him he'd be breaking up with him today. Wow, that was pretty shitty of him, wasn't it? He should've offered his support, although he had wished him good luck beforehand.

And now there was an issue. Damn it, he already felt like he was screwing up, even though it would've been rude and inconsiderate had he come along with Yoongi.

“What did he do?” Jeongguk was imagining all sorts of things now, each one out them worse than the next.

“Let's just say he wasn't too happy I was breaking up with him,” Yoongi mumbled. “Things were said. And then he told me he wasn't accepting it, because I was ‘just confused’ and would change my mind.”

Jeongguk bristled angrily. He could understand Mike being unhappy about it, but a breakup wasn't something you could negotiate on. Well, he supposed you could try to convince the other person to stay with you, but if they didn't want to, that was the end of it.

“Do you need me to talk to him?”

Yoongi chuckled at the offer, though not unkindly. “Thanks, but you're way too sweet to intimidate him.”

As much as he'd like to be offended, Jeongguk knew Yoongi had a point. “He doesn't know that,” he nonetheless pointed out. “I could show him my muscles.” He rolled up his shirt sleeve and flexed his biceps, not missing the way Yoongi's eyes lingered. Suddenly shy, he lowered his arm again and folded his hands in his lap. Was that a thing Yoongi liked? Because he could use that. Possibly.

Yoongi blinked and seemed to shake himself from his thoughts. “That can be a last resort,” he promised. “I think it's been resolved for now, but I had to get pretty nasty, so don't be surprised if his hurt pride makes him bother us.” He sighed and finished his slice, licking his fingers clean after, causing Jeongguk's brain to shut down a little.

“Sorry about this,” Yoongi said sincerely, interrupting Jeongguk's inappropriate fantasies of licking Yoongi's fingers for him, and perhaps some more. Yoongi luckily seemed oblivious rooted around for some napkins, which was really better for Jeongguk's poor imagination “He'll only get worse once he finds out about us.” He reached out with his clean hand and rubbed his thumb along Jeongguk's fingers. “It's not too late to back out, you know. I don't want you involved in something too messy.”

Jeongguk shook his head firmly. God, as much as he was filled with anxiety over the entire situation, he wasn't backing out now. “Too late. I've already told my parents, can't undo that now. Anyway, we'll just not tell everyone immediately, you know? Let people think it took us a while, except our parents. And maybe the ones who didn't know about Mike.”

“If anyone asks, I could mention the bad parts towards the end,” Yoongi mused. “And you were there for me, we drifted towards each other, I broke up with Mike so we wouldn't be doing anything wrong, and now here we are.”

“And once the showcase comes closer, we'll tell people we don't want our parents to know about how we started out,” Jeongguk continued quickly, glad they had a plan, “which is why we told them a different story.”

Yoongi smiled at him widely, that precious gummy smile Jeongguk adored so much, and Jeongguk couldn't help but return it with his own smile.

“Thank you, Kookie,” Yoongi said, seeming much more relaxed than he had been earlier. “You're a good friend.”

Jeongguk hid how his smile had dropped by shoving his mouth full of pizza. Yeah. Friend. He'd need to use these next few months well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this was meant to be two, three parts, but instead my Yoonkook muses decided that would be too easy. So I know where I'm going! They're just making it more complicated to get there, whoops.

Shouldering his bag, Jeongguk made his way out the classroom. He nodded over at his professor before stepping into the hallway and considered where to go next. He had a spare hour or two before his next class and could use that time to meet up with Yugyeom, a friend of his he hadn’t seen in a while, or he could go see Yoongi, the only other person he knew who wasn't in class right now. It wasn’t really a contest, though, was it? His feet were already heading in the direction of the coffee shop Yoongi tended to frequent at this hour - he said writing in public could be an excellent source of inspiration; Jeongguk secretly thought that perhaps he got lonely at home or in the studio. And it was what boyfriends did, right? See whoever they’re dating as much as possible? Plus, well, it was _Yoongi_. He didn't really need an excuse to want to see him.

It had only been a little over a week since the start of their fake relationship and so far not much had changed. After all, they couldn’t be too obvious yet - didn’t want to be insensitive. Sometimes Jeongguk lay awake at night and imagined what ‘obvious’ even meant. Holding hands, yes, that had been established. But what else? Their little group was fairly tactile already and even Jeongguk and Yoongi would often throw an arm around the other, or Jeongguk would fling himself on top of Yoongi when he was excited or sit down on his lap because, well, he enjoyed being on people’s laps. Sue him. Once, Seokjin had released an exasperated groan when he’d done it again and Jeongguk had informed him it was important he do this to determine the best lap. “For science.”

When asked who he deemed best, he had mumbled something about not having enough data, which had luckily led Taehyung (good old Taehyung, always had his back) to discuss the best way to perform scientific research and somehow the conversation had ended with a discussion on the importance of ethics in science and whether it was ever defendable to put science first.

Objectively speaking, Jeongguk probably should have answered Namjoon: underrated strong thighs, bigger than him, willing to stay in place patiently. But all that had run through his mind had been Yoongi. Soft Yoongi, whose thighs could be so squishy and curvy, whose shoulders and chest were so much broader than Jeongguk’s own. Occasionally, he would mindlessly start kneading at Jeongguk’s neck, causing goosebumps to erupt on his skin and a tingle to zap down his spine.

Which, again, begged the question: what else could they possibly do in terms of noticeability?

He recalled Taehyung’s teasing about a kiss and nearly tripped over his own feet. What if… What if they did kiss? What if they reached a point where they desperately needed to be more convincing, and Yoongi slid his hand in Jeongguk’s hair so he could tug him down and- and _kiss_ him? What if Jeongguk decided to make the first move and, well, perhaps not kiss him on the lips, not daring to go there quite yet, but what if he pressed his lips to the roundness of Yoongi’s cheek?

It wasn’t like he never pictured kissing Yoongi. Well, he’d tried to stop once Mike had appeared, but he couldn’t very well control his dreams, now could he? He’d also definitely had some more risqué fantasies before, of long fingers wrapped around his wrists, a smaller body on top of his own, moaning beautifully into his ear, Jeongguk’s legs spread wide for him. Being taken apart by that wicked tongue, which Yoongi liked to brag about relentlessly.

His face heated up and he quickly shook himself from his thoughts. God, this was not the right place nor time for any of that. It had all gotten so much worse ever since Yoongi had told him he was single again, as though that knowledge had sent a signal to his brain giving him permission to imagine whatever he wished. Which, he reminded himself, wasn’t the case. That wasn’t one of his privileges as a fake boyfriend. Was it?

He was momentarily surprised when he realised he had already reached the coffee shop, having been so lost in thought the walk had felt shorter than usual. He pushed open the door and smiled over at the girl behind the till, then glanced around to find Yoongi. It didn’t take long to spot him: he generally occupied the same table. His laptop was open, a notebook and pencil next to it, cup of coffee to the side. It wasn’t until Jeongguk made to go nearer that he noticed the scowl marring Yoongi’s features and stopped in his tracks. A closer look revealed the reason: Mike.

Although Jeongguk could only see him from the back, it was unmistakably him, his posture and built easily recognisable. He was sat across from Yoongi and leaning forward, while Yoongi was leaning away from him with his arms tightly crossed, saying something Jeongguk couldn’t hear, though the clenched jaw suggested it wasn’t particularly friendly. Whatever it was, it was enough to cause Mike to momentarily hang his head and then leave. He passed by Jeongguk on his way out and caught his eye, making Jeongguk straighten his back and puff out his chest as he watched him go, feeling oddly pleased that Mike appeared pissed off. That’s right, he thought to himself. Don’t mess with Yoongi.

He waited until Mike was definitely gone, watching him through the window, before taking the seat opposite Yoongi, ignoring the fact that Mike had been right there moments before and instead greeting Yoongi with a smile, his annoyance mostly melting away once he saw his face. God, could he possibly be more whipped? Yoongi was grinning back at him, his eyes sparkling in- amusement?

“Did you just try to go all alpha male on him?” Yoongi asked teasingly, nodding over at the door.

Jeongguk flushed. Oh. So Yoongi had seen that, huh? His little display of- whatever that had been, because he had no idea himself. “I didn’t- It wasn’t meant that way.” His stuttered explanation only seemed to increase Yoongi’s glee. At least Yoongi wasn’t upset; if Jeongguk intended to seduce him (was that the right word?), he needed to be as dissimilar to Mike as possible - controlling, domineering Mike, who apparently didn’t understand that Yoongi could take care of himself and make his own decisions. Though Yoongi knew him better than that anyway, he hoped. That may be why he seemed to find it entertaining rather than aggravating.

“Don’t worry, it’s cute,” Yoongi indeed said dismissively, moving his laptop to make room for Jeongguk.

Right. Cute. Always cute. Now Jeongguk felt a prickle of irritation. Why couldn’t he ever be anything else? He remembered messing up his first presentation in university and rather than be laughed at, everyone thought it was adorable and he’d heard more ‘awww’s than anything else. Admittedly, that hadn’t been too bad (it had even led to him getting a second chance rather than a fail), but even now he was always the cute one. The young one - in their little group, at least. Sometimes it was fine, even really, really nice, because to be honest, he did enjoy being taken care of, in a way, and cuteness seemed to amplify the need to do so in people. He just wished people could also see him in a different light. Especially Yoongi. Or only Yoongi, he supposed. How did he expect to be taken seriously as a possible real boyfriend if Yoongi thought he was _cute_?

“Not cute,” he muttered, aware that he was sulking and that this undoubtedly did nothing for his argument. Puppies were cute. Kittens were cute. Yoongi, actually, was pretty damn cute, but he was ridiculously hot as well.

Yoongi blinked slowly. Understanding seemed to dawn on him, replacing his initial surprise, and he reached out to grasp Jeongguk’s hand, squeezing it gently. “There’s nothing wrong with being cute,” he began. “However, and I’m not just saying this as-” He paused and mulled the words over in his head, humming pensively. “I’m not just saying this as your boyfriend,” slight emphasis on the last word, in case anyone were to overhear their mumbled conversation, “but you’re sexy as hell too.”

Okay, that… That was a bit more than he had expected and now he didn't know how to react, fuck. “I wouldn't go that far,” he mumbled, suddenly embarrassed and not quite daring to meet Yoongi's eyes. Why was he always so awkward? Couldn’t he just say ‘thanks’ and get this over with?

“See,” Yoongi said, his lips twitching upwards, “cute. But..” He lowered his voice and leaned in, Jeongguk unconsciously copying the movement. “I always find you incredibly sexy when you dance, the way you move, the look in your eyes.” Yoongi’s own eyes darted down to Jeongguk's chest and he bit down on his lip, almost imperceptibly. “Banging body. Being cute doesn't negate all that.”

Jeongguk swallowed hard, feeling hot and unsure. Was this real or was this Yoongi acting as his boyfriend? He took comfort in the fact that Yoongi wasn't the best actor in the world and that heated look he was fixing Jeongguk with was far too convincing. On the other hand, the knowledge that Yoongi genuinely felt this way, and that he _watched_ him, made his heart skip a beat. Unbidden, an image came to mind of Yoongi staring at him on a night out, perhaps wondering if Jeongguk could move that well in other situations too. Once or twice Jeongguk had been convinced he had seen it: Yoongi's dark eyes on him as he grinded up against Jimin or Hoseok on a makeshift dance floor, always in good fun, always dirty. Had he been correct? And… had Yoongi enjoyed it? The thought was dizzying and he felt he might pass out if he considered it for too long.

His large eyes focused on Yoongi again when he squeezed his hand harder, smiling at him, a little cheekily, though his expression remained warm. “Kook,” he said solemnly, “you're not just a snack, but a full buffet, okay?” When Jeongguk nodded only once, bashfully, Yoongi’s face softened and he stroked along Jeongguk’s knuckles. “I mean it. Trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Jeongguk responded in a rush. That was never the issue, he trusted Yoongi with his life. So perhaps… he should trust him to tell the truth? He threw Yoongi a smile he hoped at least conveyed his gratitude and Yoongi returned it, appearing pleased.

Yoongi released his hand and reached for his bag instead. “Now, why don't I get you a hot chocolate?”

Jeongguk smiled wider.

*******

“Oh, I'll bet you anything he has thought of fucking you before,” Taehyung said, casual as can be, as he inspected the various liquor bottles. Tonight they were going out and the two of them had been tasked with the tough job of picking up some alcohol for the pregame because no one else had remembered. On the way to the supermarket, Jeongguk had filled Taehyung in on his encounter with Yoongi from a few days ago, needing someone else's perspective. He should've known Taehyung was the wrong person to ask, though.

He smacked Taehyung’s arm and hissed out a scandalised “Tae!”, merely receiving a raised eyebrow for his trouble. God, he should’ve just dealt with his confusion alone, this was embarrassing.

“He used the phrase ‘banging body’. You know what that means, Kook? Means you've got a body he wants to bang.” He picked up a bottle at random and squinted at the label, then wrinkled his nose and put it back. “That one has mango. Jimin doesn't like mango. Maybe strawberry?”

Jeongguk grabbed a fruity drink that claimed to contain strawberry and shoved it into Taehyung’s hands, vaguely recalling having tried it before. “I don’t think that’s at all accurate,” he stated. “And, anyway, thinking someone’s hot and wanting to have sex with them are two different things.” He hadn’t been able to get it out of his head, though: the idea that Yoongi might have touched himself at some point while imagining Jeongguk with him. Eventually, he had shamefully hidden his face in his pillow and shoved his hand between his legs as he pictured it. He needed to get a grip; this was getting ridiculous.

“True,” Taehyung agreed, staring at the bottle for a few moments before apparently deeming it satisfactory. “But he’s always had a soft spot for you. Like, a giant one. Even more than for the rest of us. You know how we always send ugly pictures of each other on our birthdays? Not once has he done that for you, it’s always you laughing or sleeping or whatever other soft moment he can think of. It's almost gross.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk muttered, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice, “because I’m _cute_.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and snatched another bottle off the shelf before moving over to the wine - sometimes they liked to pretend to be classy. He started piling stuff onto Jeongguk, who was beginning to wish they’d grabbed a basket. “I swear to god, only you would complain about being called cute. He thinks you're adorable, how is that a bad thing? _But_ I'm sure he also wants to pound you into the mattress.”

Jeongguk apologetically bowed his head to a shocked elderly couple passing by, wishing he could sink through the floor rather than suffer through any more of this. Taehyung, meanwhile, remained unbothered and added some cheap-looking drink that seemed like it might glow in the dark to the growing mountain in Jeongguk's arms. “Or you can pound him,” Taehyung added thoughtfully. “I don't know your preferences.”

“He never said anything like that,” Jeongguk pointed out, his cheeks hot. Had Taehyung not been listening to him at all? “Besides, he's called all of us hot at some point. It doesn't mean anything.” When Hoseok had felt down about his looks once, Yoongi had babbled on and on about his shapely legs and his abs and his pretty smile. It was just the way he was, always there to hype up his friends when he knew they needed it the most, and although he wasn’t the type to hand out undeserved compliments, he also seemed capable of finding people attractive without actually meaning anything by it.

Taehyung sighed and turned towards him, his face like that of a disappointed parent. “Kookie, look. I don't know why you're so adamant on not believing me, and okay, I can't say with full certainty that the thought has crossed his mind, but there's always a chance it has, or it will. And you could even help the process along, if you'd like.”

“I don't think that's what I want, though,” Jeongguk admitted quietly, contemplating. “Yeah, it'd be nice,” and probably easy: rather than choosing comfort in the form of his black hoodie and jeans, he could show some skin, draw attention to his best physical aspects, “but…” But he wanted more than that. He felt so very conflicted: yes, the thought of Yoongi wanting him sexually was tantalising, and it certainly qualified as not being considered simply a cute younger friend, but at the same time, he also didn't want to be seen as nothing more than a sex object. Which sounded incredibly odd even in his head, because he didn't think “sex object” was a good description of him, but whatever.

“I need to be the anti Mike,” he continued, determined. “If I show him I'm the opposite of Mike, maybe he'll see me as a serious option, you know?”

“If he doesn’t already know that, I don’t think he even deserves you,” Taehyung said. He led the way to the tills, stopping to grab two six packs of beer on the way. Although they appeared to have more than enough, Jeongguk knew for a fact most of it would be gone before the end of the night. “You don’t need to show him anything. He’s friends with you, which means he likes you platonically if nothing else. If you want him to realise you’re into him: flirt.”

Easier said than done. “I need to flirt if we’re fake dating,” Jeongguk pointed out. And how would Yoongi ever tell the difference between fake flirting and real flirting? Jeongguk wasn’t great at flirting to begin with, turning shy fast and backing away, and Yoongi was oblivious as fuck.

Taehyung shrugged and helped Jeongguk place their drinks on the belt. “So do it in private. There’s no need to pretend when it’s just the two of you, right?” There was a suspicious glint in his eyes as he took his ID and money from his pocket and Jeongguk’s stomach started twisting nervously. “You know what, leave it all to me.”

*******

Ominous as those words had been, “leave it all to me” had meant making the two of them drink a lot and then leave them alone in the booth they’d claimed. Or so Jeongguk assumed, because Taehyung had disappeared onto the dance floor with Hoseok and Jimin a while back and nothing suggested he’d return any time soon. Namjoon had slunk away to say hello to some friends and Seokjin had complained about how boring Yoongi and Jeongguk were before heading off to find the others. For all his talk, Jeongguk had to say he was sorely disappointed by Taehyung’s plan. Yet relieved.

Jeongguk quietly sipped his beer and looked out into the club, wondering if this was as uncomfortable for Yoongi as it was for him, because oh, wow, had they been awkward silencing. A quick glance over showed him Yoongi seemed perfectly at ease, slumped in the booth with his own drink in his hand. Either that, or he was very good at hiding it. What he was less good at hiding, though, was how he seemed quite taken by Jeongguk’s outfit tonight, which was a simple, thin black shirt tucked into tight, tight, _tight_ jeans (no joke, Jimin had actually needed to help him into them earlier). He hadn’t missed the appreciative looks thrown his way, and evidently his need to be acknowledged for more than this, which he had so emphatically shared with Taehyung, had gone out the window. Well, not entirely, but it did give him a boost of confidence whenever he moved and Yoongi’s eyes lingered.

During the pregame, Yoongi had sat beside him and asked him if he was okay with being more open tonight. “Nothing extreme, don't worry.” And he had checked again and again if Jeongguk was still alright with this, and assured him he could back out, no judgement. “It is kind of strange, I guess,” he had admitted, scrunching up his nose.

Jeongguk had agreed - to the couple part, not the strange part. Though he privately agreed with that too, but who was he to question Yoongi's familial relationships? “You can count on me, I'm here for you,” he had insisted. Besides, it would be pointless to back out now that they already had a plan. Yoongi had smiled at him and reached up to play with the hairs on Jeongguk's nape, an unreadable look in his eyes.

“Yeah. You really are.”

Now, however, nothing was happening. Was Jeongguk meant to make the first move here? After a moment's consideration, he scooted closer to Yoongi, placing down his glass as he did so it looked as though he was merely readjusting. Yoongi's eyes flickered over to him. He downed his drink, near enough slammed the empty glass down beside Jeongguk's, and twisted so they were facing each other. Yoongi smiled apologetically and toyed with his earlobe.

"Sorry. I've not been much company, huh." He nodded over to the dancefloor, which was now crowded enough that their friends were nowhere to be found. "If you want to go out there, I won't be offended."

Jeongguk continued to stare out into the club, knowing very well he desired little less. Apart from the fact that he didn't particularly enjoy crowds while alone, he also much preferred Yoongi's company, awkward or not. Besides, perhaps the awkwardness was all in his head? He was aware of his feelings and unsure of what was expected from him, so yes, uncomfortable. But other than that... He'd never had an issue with appreciating the silence and he refused to make Yoongi feel like he suddenly did.

"I'm fine here," Jeongguk said, shrugging. "I could do with another drink, though. Want me to get you something too?" Yes, more alcohol would surely improve the situation, great plan. Looked like he didn't need Taehyung after all.

With a shake of his head, Yoongi shuffled out the booth. "I'm the older one here, I'll get it," he promised. He regarded Jeongguk for a bit, then smirked, instantly raising suspicions. "Why don't I teach you how to drink?"

Jeongguk's instinctive reaction was to remind Yoongi that he knew how to drink already, thank you very much, but he had a feeling Yoongi wasn't on about some beer or shots or even the spirits Taehyung liked to share with them. He'd likely come to regret this, but he was curious what Yoongi had in mind and he could also use this opportunity to get him to talk (hopefully not only about alcohol). It was also risky, since out of all of them, Yoongi coped best with his alcohol intake and Jeongguk could very well end up completely plastered. It seemed worth it, though, and so he grinned brightly. "Sounds good."

Once Yoongi returned with a tray full of drinks, Jeongguk felt a lot less confident. "I didn't think you'd bring the whole bar," he said with something akin to awe. And dread. Definitely dread. Sure, he had expected something more than the usual, but damn, Yoongi had truly gone all out. If Jeongguk didn't end up having the world's worst hangover, he'd be shocked.

His words seemed to amuse Yoongi, because he chuckled as he took his seat. "Too much?"

Jeongguk quickly shook his head and smiled innocently when Yoongi narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He knew Yoongi would never force him to drink and he wouldn't even judge him, but he was genuinely curious and willing to shove his concerns aside for a few hours. He'd just have to make sure to take it easy tomorrow. "What should we have first?" Jeongguk asked, pretending to inspect the tray. Honestly, he had no idea what was even there.

Yoongi took two glasses filled with a dark liquid, then picked up two shot glasses as well for some reason. He moved a little closer, their knees now pressing together. Jeongguk made a conscious effort to ignore that and instead focused on Yoongi's face. Which, really, didn't help his nerves much, so he dropped his gaze to Yoongi's hands instead. It didn't make things better.

"This," Yoongi began, carefully sliding one of each Jeongguk's way, "is called an Irish Bomb. You drop in the shot glass and drink it all immediately."

"What's in it?" Jeongguk asked warily. Anything with 'bomb' in its name sounded intense.

"Guinness, Irish cream and whiskey."

Jeongguk nodded like he understood exactly what Irish cream was. Was that alcoholic too? He knew about Guinness and whiskey, at least, though he'd never tried the former and wasn't that fond of the latter. Still, if Yoongi wanted to try this with him, he'd not complain. Yoongi could probably offer him anything at this point and he'd accept it with a gracious smile. That realisation suddenly made him wish they weren't alone.

Yoongi lifted his shot glass and held it above the Guinness, raising his eyebrows at Jeongguk as if to check he was ready. Jeongguk quickly followed his example and nodded to let Yoongi know they could start.

Once the liquid slid down his throat, Jeongguk's eyes started watering and he realised he'd made a terrible mistake. Fuck, what on earth was this stuff? Nonetheless, he swallowed, turning his head so Yoongi couldn't see him pull a face at the taste. Yeah, no, whiskey would never be his favourite. Though he wasn't sure if the absence of it would actually be an improvement, but whatever.

When he looked back at Yoongi, he found him smacking his lips and starting down at the empty glass intently. "Did you know it's not even Irish?" Yoongi said. Considering the fact that Jeongguk had never even heard of it before today, Jeongguk could say with absolute honesty that he did not. He didn't bother to say so, however, and instead made a noise of interest so Yoongi would continue.

"It's American, but since it has Irish ingredients..." Yoongi shrugged and trailed off. "The name is kind of controversial, you know, but it's still a drink I've always wanted to try. Just seemed like it would be boring to try this one on my own, so I'm glad you joined in."

He grinned and Jeongguk caught a flash of his teeth, of that far too precious smile. Yoongi's admittance promptly made the drink rise to the top of Jeongguk's list. Yes, he was smitten. So what? Before Yoongi could read that on his face, though, he needed to change the subject. "Friendship is Irish baam," he said, having no clue what that even meant. He decided to just roll with it and held out his fist, relieved when Yoongi, blinking in bemusement, bumped into it with his own.

"Forever the symbol of our friendship," Yoongi declared solemnly. "We should get T-shirts."

Jeongguk snorted, but was already planning the design in his head for Yoongi's next birthday. Gag gifts were still a thing, right?

He tapped the table and turned questioning eyes Yoongi's way. "What's next?"

As it turned out, the rest was fairly tame in comparison, but Jeongguk could live with that. And Yoongi only caught him expressing his disgust once, which had had him laughing and mumbling something that sounded like "cute". At this point, he could no longer bring himself to be offended. It was a few drinks in that Jeongguk finally decided to ask what had been weighing on him for a while, blurting it out during a quiet moment.

"Why Mike?"

His face heated up almost instantly, though luckily Yoongi didn't appear upset. Rather, he looked thoughtful.

"He wasn't always bad," Yoongi said slowly, staring down at the table like it held an explanation. "Or maybe he was and he hid it well, or I didn't notice. But, at least at first, he was clever and funny, sweet, passionate..." He cleared his throat, the corners of his mouth curling up. "And I won't lie, I did like the sex."

Although sex was no taboo in their group of friends and it wasn't the first time Jeongguk had heard Yoongi talk about it, even with Mike, he was flustered. "Was he good?" He hoped he sounded nonchalant, despite the odd question. He really needed to slow down with the drinks, though he was sure he was already pretty tipsy by now. Judging by Yoongi's flush, he was in the same boat; no surprise, really, considering the high alcohol content of everything they'd had.

A shrug. "To be honest, he wasn't the best I've ever had, but he could suck like nobody's business and that was a big plus. Not that it was all about that, relationships are about more than sex, you know? For me, at least."

No, Jeongguk didn't know. He fiddled with a coaster and licked his lips, feeling awfully inexperienced all of a sudden. "I've actually never... I mean, not really." He ducked his head when he spotted Yoongi's obvious surprise, embarrassed. "I've done stuff," he hurried to explain. "I'm not a virgin, I've just not had a boyfriend." He jumped when Yoongi's fingers curled around his own and glanced up, his cheeks dusted in pink.

"Hey, I wouldn't be judging you if you _were_ a virgin," Yoongi assured him, frowning like he was worried he'd said something offensive. "Everyone has a different pace and never having sex is fine too. I'm only surprised because I kind of figured you must've had people throwing themselves at you. Not that you need to date everyone who does, of course. I assumed, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Jeongguk quickly shook his head, wanting to get rid of the wrinkle between Yoongi's eyebrows. "It's fine! It's weird, I guess."

"It really isn't." Yoongi made eye contact, his mouth pulled down. "Please don't think it is. However... I am curious how no one's snatched you up yet."

Fair enough, Jeongguk supposed. He understood the real question: how could cute, innocent Jeongguk have fucked randoms? Because that had been Taehyung's and Jimin's reactions when he'd told them. "The first guy... He was one of my friends and we experimented together. It never meant more than that." It had been pretty awkward once they'd broken it off because neither wanted word about their sexuality to get out and they were both scared the other would let something slip. "And then there was a guy whom my first year here who would make me give him blowjobs, but he never reciprocated. Said it was gross."

"Excuse me?" Yoongi looked genuinely affronted. "Selfish son of a bitch, you can't make someone do something you think is disgusting."

Jeongguk pursed his lips to hide his pleased smile. Although he was convinced that guy had simply been dealing with some serious internalised homophobia, he kind of liked how angry Yoongi seemed on his behalf. "We didn't last long," he said, to which Yoongi muttered "good". "But... I don't know. I guess people like to use me? But not be with me?" He'd been on dates, but either they led to one-night stands or, if they didn't, the guys would soon end up ghosting him. Honestly, the first two were as close to relationships he'd ever gotten.

A tug on his hand drew his attention back to Yoongi, who was looking at him intently.

"Hey, no. You've been very unlucky and you've met some dicks, that's all, but you'll find someone worthy. If that's what you want!" Yoongi hesitated for a moment, then lifted his free hand and placed his palm on Jeongguk's neck, his thumb running along Jeongguk's jaw. He sighed, smiling sadly. "But I'm no better, am I? I'm using you too, for some petty revenge on my parents, of all people."

Jeongguk's eyes widened, panicked, and he shook his head several times. "Yoongi, _no_. I offered, you accepted, and even now you keep asking me if I'm okay with it. You're not using me." When he noticed that Yoongi still looked insecure, not to mention guilty, he moved in closer. His blood seemed to be rushing through his veins and he knew he was about to make a mistake, yet the echo of the Irish Bomb was pushing him to go on and so, before he could stop himself, he was mumbling his next words.

"But, you know, I wouldn't mind if you did use me."

Yoongi's eyes grew almost comically large. Jeongguk didn't miss how they dropped down to his lips, though, or how Yoongi's hand slid towards his shoulder until his fingers were clenched in Jeongguk's shirt collar. The desire to kiss him had never been greater, which was saying something, and before he knew it, Yoongi's shaky breath was hitting his lips. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jeongguk knew he'd likely regret this, but god, it was so hard to care right now, with Yoongi so near, so warm.

As he was about to close the distance, he felt a shove against his chest. Yoongi turned his head to the side and chuckled, though there was little amusement in it. "Don't do anything you'd regret in the morning, Kookie."

"Who says I would?" Jeongguk answered stubbornly, ignoring his own earlier, more rational, thoughts. "I'd only regret it if you would." That part, at least, was closer to the truth.

That seemed to catch Yoongi's interest. He watched Jeongguk for several long, long moments, then he leaned in - Jeongguk inhaled sharply - and kissed his forehead. "Not tonight, Kook. Not while you're drunk."

At that moment, Namjoon found them again, bringing with him a few other people, and Yoongi carefully untangled himself from Jeongguk so he could greet them all. Namjoon must have noticed the lingering tension, for he threw them both a curious look. Jeongguk chose to ignore it and instead smiled at the newcomers, not truly interested in what they had to say, his thoughts still focused on Yoongi's lips on his skin and on his words. And he wondered about their meaning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas, or happy holidays, or happy Monday if you don't celebrate anything at all. <3

Jeongguk lifted his cup to his mouth and took a big sip from his coffee, which contained enough sugar that he couldn't taste its natural bitterness anymore. It had been a few days since the near kiss and the morning after had been… Well, awkward wasn't exactly the right word: Yoongi hadn't quite met his eyes, but he had nonetheless allowed Jeongguk to spend the night (though they hadn’t shared a bed, which was probably for the best) and had even made him breakfast, offering a squeeze to his shoulder and a comforting smile once he finally went home, as though he wanted him to know they were okay. From there on, they had avoided the topic and continued on as normal, though they had now introduced more skinship in the form of hand holding. It was nice, Jeongguk wouldn't lie: he had always liked Yoongi's hands and being allowed to touch them whenever was a true privilege. Plus, it was undeniably adorable how it seemed to calm Yoongi every time.

So far, he hadn't mentioned the incident to anyone else, embarrassment and a desire for privacy holding him back. He didn't want it to turn into a bigger deal and as much as he could use some advice, he wasn't sure Yoongi would be too pleased if he went ahead and shared this. Besides, he could only truly talk about it with Taehyung and Jimin, and he already knew they'd encourage him while at the same time warning him to be careful and not get too involved, which… wasn't at all helpful. He had a feeling Namjoon might know something, because he'd thrown some funny looks their way after he’d sat back down. However, as long as it didn't affect their friendship, he was unlikely to bring it up with either of them.

Jeongguk knew he should probably discuss it with Yoongi at some point, but god, it was terrifying and he'd rather wait for Yoongi to bring it up instead (which seemed unlikely, but perhaps he could add some alcohol into the mix again, though for Yoongi rather than for himself this time).

Thinking about it wasn't helping him, though, especially right now, when he was actually attempting to finish an essay that was due at the end of the day. Groaning, he pressed his hands to his eyes. He only needed about two hundred more words, but he had no idea what else to add at this point. Perhaps he'd come up with more if he read through it again? Or should he take a break, refresh his brain?

When he pulled his hands away and opened his eyes, he was mildly startled when he spotted Mike by the till, staring at him. He returned the look and raised his eyebrows, trying to hide his annoyance. What did he want? If he was looking for Yoongi, he was out of luck, since Yoongi had classes all day today. Apparently Mike mistook his attempt at nonchalance for friendliness, because he raised his hand in greeting, turned to pick up his drink (it was in a to-go cup, so why wasn't he _going_?) and walked over to him. Did he really have nothing better to do other than hang around in coffee shops and bother people?

He noticed he was doing the alpha male thing again the closer Mike got: straightening his back and pulling his shoulders back to make himself look broader (which must look funny, because Yoongi had commented just the other day on how slender he was despite his muscles). “Yes?” he asked shortly, hoping Mike would take the hint and leave. Of course he didn’t, though, and Jeongguk wasn’t sure if he was merely oblivious or if Jeongguk was simply that bad at being rude.

“You're Jeongguk, right, Yoongi's friend?” Mike asked, barely waiting for Jeongguk's nod. The look on his face was calculated and for some reason he decided to stand closer, leaning down to speak, looming over him. He really just invited himself anywhere, didn’t he? At least he hadn’t decided to sit down; silver linings. “I just want you to know that you don't need to spare my feelings.”

Jeongguk stared at him blankly. What?

“You know, in the club,” Mike continued, frustration in his tone when Jeongguk didn’t immediately respond. “I saw you and Yoongi and you really didn't need to stop just for me. I can handle that stuff, you know? He was bound to move on eventually.”

Ah, that shed some light on the matter. Jeongguk hated the fact that he could feel his face heat up at the memory he'd been trying to suppress mere minutes ago. At least their whole plan was working already: Mike clearly believed they were together and it was only a matter of time before other people did the same. He cleared his throat when he realised Mike was watching him, as though he was waiting for an answer. “Oh.” Jeongguk attempted to smile. “That's… good to know. We didn't want to be insensitive.” Might as well not let them come across as complete assholes, though he personally couldn't care less about Mike's feelings or how Mike thought of him. He cared about how Mike would view Yoongi, however, didn’t want him to think of Yoongi as a bad person.

Mike sighed through his nose and shook his head, managing to appear absolutely patronising even through those small actions (or Jeongguk had simply reached the point where everything about this guy got on his nerves, which was also highly possible). “No, you're good. I won't stand in your way.” He stood up straight again and gazed down at Jeongguk with dark eyes, taking him in curiously. “To be honest, I always kind of expected it to be you anyway.”

What did that mean? Jeongguk was afraid to ask and Mike was already leaving, nodding at him once in goodbye, so it wasn't as though he could. Was it that weird subtle racism of him, an assumption that Yoongi would inevitably end up with another Korean man? But he had said ‘you’ specifically. Had Yoongi mentioned him? Or had he been able to tell that Jeongguk had a crush on Yoongi and he had gone from there? That latter option was fairly concerning, but not completely implausible, he supposed.

He unlocked his phone and stared at the screen as he contemplated texting Yoongi about this. His background was a picture of his family pet and he vaguely wondered if he should change it to one of him and Yoongi. Was that a thing couples did or was it considered too soon, or too clingy?

It didn’t matter right now, he decided. Instead, he opened the messaging app and tapped on his conversation with Yoongi, the latest exchange being about how grumpy Yoongi was over being stuck at uni all day and Jeongguk replying with some random memes to cheer him up.

_To: Yoon_

_mike just talked to me_

_gave me his blessing lol_

He wasn't expecting a response for ages, yet to his surprise, he received one quite fast. Perhaps Yoongi was bored in class? (Of course he was bored, did Jeongguk think he was keeping an eye out for messages from him? He scolded himself for entertaining that thought for even a moment.)

_From: Yoon_

_?????_

_how did that happen??_

His eyes lingered on Yoongi's display name. Was that something he should change too, to something more boyfriendy? God, he truly was clueless, huh? Whatever, he'd give it a shot (kind of liked the idea of it, to be quite honest) and if anyone asked, well, it wasn't really any of their business anyway.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_he saw us when we were out, assumed we were together but wanted to spare his feelings and that’s why we kept our distance_

It was the first time either of them had acknowledged their moment and it made Jeongguk feel slightly ill with anxiety, even though he had a feeling Yoongi would ignore it entirely. Which, actually, was exactly what he’d do himself.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_huh… I had no idea he was even there_

That, at least, made two of them.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_but he wasn't rude to you then?_

Jeongguk shook his head, then frowned when he realised there was literally no way Yoongi could see him. He glanced around to ensure no one had seen, but everyone appeared preoccupied with their own conversations, no need to pay attention to the lone guy in the corner.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_nah, just said he won't stand in our way - > his actual words_

He contemplated adding Mike’s last sentence too, but what good would that do? It could mean nothing or it could mean everything and Jeongguk didn't think he was ready for either option. Besides, he'd rather see Yoongi's expression if he did bring it up, because it was far too easy to pretend via text. He would know, he did it often enough.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_pompous ass_

_hey, you have dance tonight, right?_

Jeongguk blinked at the sudden change in topic. Quite a big leap from his ex, though he could understand Yoongi wouldn’t want to talk about him. He wasn’t exactly Jeongguk’s favourite subject matter either, so he went along with it easily enough.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_yeah, at seven. think we finish at nine_

_why?_

He took another sip while he waited for a response, grimacing when he realised the coffee had gone cold. “Gross,” he mumbled to himself, shoving it away as though it had offended him. He supposed he could get another one, but he refused to spend more money on a drink he didn't truly enjoy. Maybe he’d grab an energy drink later to stay awake, though those were kind of disgusting too.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_thought I'd pick you up after, fulfil my boyfriend duties ;)_

_maybe we could go for food_

There was a traitorous flutter in Jeongguk's stomach, which only enhanced when he imagined Yoongi hating himself after sending that wink emoji. Yes, it was all fake, but Yoongi _was_ genuinely cute. And Jeongguk would never turn down a meal with him. Perhaps they could pretend more openly now that Mike knew anyway, which was thrilling and terrifying all at once (Jeongguk was fairly certain he might spontaneously combust should they ever date for real, so it was likely for the best that his feelings were one-sided).

He tapped out an affirmative response and received a “see you tonight” in return, making him grin stupidly. He glanced at the time and calculated how much time he had left till he'd get to see Yoongi, something that suddenly seemed much more important than any of his other plans for today. Well, he did need to finish that stupid essay before dance practice, making the hours feel much shorter all of a sudden. Sighing, he locked his phone, stretched his fingers and woke up his laptop. Time to stop slacking off.

*******

“We should really find more to do on dates,” Yoongi mused.

Jeongguk looked up at him curiously, his cheeks bulging with food. He flushed at Yoongi's fond gaze and quickly chewed and swallowed. They'd ended up going for Korean BBQ, because both were in the mood for meat and Yoongi had proclaimed how nice it'd be to go without someone commenting on how ‘different’ it was (“It's meat,” Yoongi had grumbled in the car, “how the hell is that so different?”). “What do you mean?”

Yoongi chuckled and gestured at Jeongguk's face. “You have something there.”

Promptly embarrassed, Jeongguk wiped his mouth, wincing when his hand came back stained. He usually didn't care much about his messy eating habits and it wasn't like Yoongi didn't already know about them, but way to come across as a child, congratulations, Jeongguk, well done.

“No, you- Hang on.”

Jeongguk froze when, in one of the most cliché moments of his life, Yoongi reached over with a napkin and cleaned his face for him. He must be bright red by now and his heart was beating so, so fast, fuck. He stared with wide eyes when Yoongi pulled away, folding the napkin and placing it aside, and he tried to keep his breathing steady at the soft smile on Yoongi's lips. It didn't mean anything. It was straight out of a drama, but _it didn't mean anything_. This, however, he might tell Taehyung and Jimin about - it’d undoubtedly give them a good laugh. They had been more than intrigued over Yoongi picking him up, Taehyung bemoaning the fact that he couldn't be there to see it and Jimin amused and concerned that he would be. Hoseok, clueless as to the truth of the matter, had grinned at them and wiggled his eyebrows, having finally come around to the idea (or having decided not to care and to make the best of it). The two of them had understandably made a fast exit.

“Ah…” Jeongguk cleared his throat, the lingering silence making him even more nervous. “Thank you, for that.”

Yoongi hummed and shrugged to show it hadn't been a problem. “Anyway, our dates. I don't know if we can count last time, because we weren't alone, but we do seem to be drawn to eating and drinking.” He placed some more meat on the grill to prepare for them both. “Which is fine, but I do want it to continue to be fun. There's the cinema, arcade… What else?”

“Bowling,” Jeongguk blurted out, thinking of one of his favourite hobbies. He had no idea if Yoongi had any interest in it, but it was worth mentioning. “Karaoke.” He smiled when Yoongi snorted. “I don't mind singing alone.”

“I don't mind hearing you,” Yoongi admitted. He poked the meat, missing Jeongguk's face of surprised pleasure. He supposed he'd known Yoongi liked his voice, having asked for his help with songs before, but there was something about _the way_ he'd said it. And even if he was reading too much into it - so be it. Perhaps he could enjoy it for tonight, and no one needed to know.

“Theme parks,” Jeongguk blurted out, making Yoongi jump. “For date ideas, I mean,” he mumbled. “Or a zoo. Concerts.” He knew Taehyung adored museum dates, but if Jeongguk were honest, he didn't care about those. “We could even stay in and just play games!” As soon as he'd said that, he faltered. What was the point of dates at home if no one was there to see them? They didn't even need this many ideas to begin with: all they needed were a few dates here and there, other than that they could hang out on campus, between classes, that kind of stuff. He was being far too eager.

However, Yoongi simply hummed and offered Jeongguk some more food. “Sounds good. I also found a dog café we could visit, if you'd like.” Jeongguk just knew his face lighted up at that, Yoongi grinning at his reaction. Dogs and Yoongi - an ideal combination, if you asked him, and he felt oddly touched that Yoongi had looked into this, not to mention that he knew his tastes so well. Although… he supposed he didn't hide his adoration for dogs very well, always running up to strays and smiling at the ones he'd see being walked.

“I'd love to!” he said happily, as though Yoongi needed the verbal confirmation. “It's too bad we can't go now…” He could do with some doggy cuddles at the moment. Or Yoongi cuddles. “Oh!” Jeongguk pulled out his phone, suddenly reminded of earlier, and showed Yoongi his background. “Should I change it?”

Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows. “To what?”

Jeongguk bit his lip, kind of wishing he hadn't said anything now because it sounded so juvenile out loud. Just because Yoongi knew he was inexperienced, that didn’t mean he needed to remind him. “To us? I already changed your contact name.”

Instant regret when Yoongi leaned forward with interest, eyes glimmering. “What did you change it to?” When Jeongguk shook his head, Yoongi grasped Jeongguk's phone and opened his contacts, his eyebrows raising comically, mouth pursed. “Yoonkitten? Really?”

Jeongguk shrugged and, blushing once more, took his phone back. He was growing mildly concerned that, over the next few months, he'd never be his natural colour. “You're like a cat. It's a nickname. If you hate it, I can change it again.” He really hoped he didn’t need to, though. It gave him mental images of Yoongi curling up with his head on Jeongguk’s lap, breathing gently while Jeongguk caressed him. Soft and warm. God, he wished that lay in their future.

Yoongi seemed to contemplate it, contemplate him, then shook his head. “No, it's fine. I'll change yours too, hang on.” He took out his phone, tapped it a few times, then showed Jeongguk his altered name: Babybun. “I considered Bunkook, but I like baby,” he muttered, cheeks stained pink, with Jeongguk needing to strain to hear him. “Hope that's okay.”

Oh, it was more than okay. Logically, he knew baby was something Yoongi simply liked using in relationships and therefore probably included it for some semblance of realism, but the fact that, at least for a little while, he'd have the nickname ‘baby’ associated with him… It was nice. It made him feel kind of warm inside. He nodded his consent and Yoongi appeared relieved, his shoulders sagging, as though he had expected Jeongguk to protest. He… Actually, he secretly quite enjoyed being called baby, enjoyed being spoiled and treated carefully. He just… Well, it had never happened before. And even though it might be fake, at least he knew Yoongi cared about him greatly on some level, which made it even easier to pretend for a bit.

“We'll see about taking a picture later,” Yoongi promised, beginning to make up a food parcel. “It's not something I've ever bothered with before, but we might as well.” He paused as he finished up the parcel and smiled wryly. “Maybe when I look less dead, though.”

Jeongguk wanted to say that he thought Yoongi looked beautiful always, but that was better left unsaid. Besides, he didn't mind waiting; he wanted to look a bit better himself too, not clearly fatigued from uni and dance practice. He watched Yoongi pick up the food with his chopsticks and then stared when, instead of eating it himself, he let it hover in front of Jeongguk's mouth. Now, this was something they all did at times, feed each other. Usually, though, there weren't fingers on his jaw or a thumb on his lips to gently push in the part that hadn't immediately fit in his mouth. He barely suppressed a full-body shudder at the contact and was painfully aware that he hadn't broken eye contact with Yoongi the entire time. His heart was pounding at Yoongi’s dark gaze, his parted lips.

It was only once Yoongi turned back to his own food that Jeongguk felt like he could breathe again. He could swear he heard Yoongi mumble something that sounded an awful lot like “you really are a baby”, softly, sweetly, and he nearly choked.

*******

“Babybun!” Taehyung clutched at his chest and rolled around on the settee, his eyes squeezed shut. “That's so cute, what the hell!”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and exchanged an exasperated look with Jeongguk. “It's just a name,” he pointed out. “And it's all fake, remember?”

Jeongguk ignored Jimin's sympathetic grimace, as well as the pang in his heart. “He's Yoonkitten in my phone,” he said, smirking when Yoongi glared at him. Deflection was a healthy lifestyle, right? “We even have a couple selfie as our background.”

Seokjin practically cackled in delight and tried to take a peek at Yoongi’s phone. He had actually been the one to discover the nickname situation: Yoongi had gone to check out a link Namjoon had forwarded to him and Seokjin had glanced at the screen, of course swiftly catching sight of Jeongguk’s name. He had grinned devilishly before loudly announcing it to the rest of the group.

When Yoongi shoved his phone in his pocket and Seokjin appeared as though he had no qualms reaching for it there, Jeongguk decided to save the moment by unlocking his own phone and showing off the picture he’d chosen. In it, Yoongi was smiling shyly, looking down, while Jeongguk had his arm around Yoongi’s shoulder and his nose pressed against Yoongi’s jaw, grinning happily. For one brief moment, Jeongguk had considered bravery and had wanted to kiss his cheek, but that had felt like too much. They’d taken a bunch of other photos, but this had been Jeongguk’s favourite. To be honest, he didn’t know which one Yoongi had picked, having simply sent the pictures his way without ever asking.

Hoseok and Seokjin cooed and leaned in for a better look, while Namjoon simply smiled at them. Taehyung tossed what Jeongguk assumed was a warning glare his way, no doubt reminding him not to grow too attached just yet, yet the way he was pursing his lips so he wouldn’t smile took away some of its effect.

“God,” Jimin breathed, appearing equally as conflicted as Taehyung, “you two would be the most disgustingly adorable boyfriends, wouldn’t you?”

Jeongguk couldn’t help but stare at him in disbelief. If anyone here deserved that title, it were Jimin and Taehyung, who even as best friends treated one another more like lovers than anything else. In fact, more than once had they lost a relationship over it (which, in Jeongguk’s view, went a bit far). All Taehyung had had to say about that was: “I don’t have room in my life for anyone who won’t accept that Jimin’s my soulmate.”

He looked over at Yoongi to gauge his reaction, but his eyes were still firmly fixed on Jeongguk’s screen. Was it too much? After all, it was an oddly intimate picture and Jeongguk had initially felt too exposed, aware that his feelings were written all over his face. However, he had never been the best at keeping a poker face and he hadn’t been caught out yet, and if anything, it only made it look more legit. Now, though, he was having second thoughts.

As he put his phone away, Seokjin whined at Yoongi to show his background too, pawing at his pants impatiently. “Come on, we need to see if you’re holding up your side of it! You can’t be letting him do all the work!”

Yoongi groaned as he had to keep smacking Seokjin’s hand away from his pocket. “God, why do you even care?” Despite his annoyance, he ended up handing Seokjin his unlocked phone, curling in on himself immediately after as though to hide from their reactions. Seokjin stared at it for a moment, blinking slowly.

“Jimin was right,” he eventually stated, shaking his head. He threw a cheeky smirk Jeongguk’s way and winked. “Very interesting. Use this knowledge wisely, young one.” With a flourish, he turned the phone so they could all see it, and Jeongguk was painfully aware of how he was turning red once more. Hoseok burst out laughing and nudged him, but this time Jeongguk wasn’t aware of anyone else’s responses. Because it was him. Just him.

They’d taken at least a dozen pictures together, posed again and again, yet instead of using one of those, he had chosen one of Jeongguk that Jeongguk hadn’t even realised he’d taken. It was from the day of their first date, during dance practice. He did recall Yoongi showing up a little early, but he had forced himself to ignore his presence apart from a nod when he’d first entered the room. Yoongi, however, had clearly paid attention to him. In the picture, he was in the middle of a body roll, his shirt riding up enough to expose a sliver of skin.

“Okay, but if you’re just looking at Jeongguk’s face, it looks like he’s getting the suck of his life, so I don’t know how I feel about this,” Taehyung said, grunting when Jeongguk slapped his shoulder hard.

“I don’t think anyone will be looking at the face,” Namjoon told him.

Yoongi snatched his phone back and glared at them all, or more accurately: pouted at them. “Look, I’d prefer not to see my own face every time I use my phone, it’s no big deal. I took pictures of Jimin and Hobi too.”

“He did,” Jimin admitted begrudgingly, and Jeongguk opted to appear as unbothered as possible, grateful that everyone seemed to be focusing on Yoongi more than on him. He couldn’t help it: he felt deflated. Ridiculous, sure, but for a moment he had been able to hope and although he appreciated Jimin’s honesty (best to know when hope is futile, right?), he wished he could’ve continued to daydream a little longer.

He excused himself to the bathroom, offering Jimin a reassuring smile. He mostly went ignored since everyone was still preoccupied with teasing Yoongi over having a dancer fetish, something he loudly denied. He locked the door behind him and stared at himself in the mirror, cursing his expressive eyes, because he could clearly see his own disappointment. Other than Jimin and perhaps Taehyung, he didn't think anyone had noticed; however, he should ensure it stayed that way. Somehow he simply hadn't expected it to be this difficult, and they had barely even started. If he could turn back time, he didn't think he'd offer to help out in this way again. (That was a lie.)

He remembered one of his previous flings, a boy he'd crushed on quite badly who, after several weeks of flirting, had taken him out and fucked him hard. Jeongguk hadn't even cared that they’d barely spoken or that the guy’s eyes had been closed the entire time, had only focused on how happy he was to finally be with him. Afterwards, he had whispered how much he liked him. His crush had never spoken to him again, but he had made sure to make out with someone else right in front of Jeongguk at a mutual friend's birthday party. Jeongguk had stepped out with the excuse of needing some fresh air and not gone back in. He still didn't see the point of that particular action, especially when Jeongguk had already known his feelings were unrequited and he hadn’t even bothered him about it, had politely kept his distance.

Of course Yoongi wasn't at all like him and circumstances were different, but that didn't mean both events couldn't leave Jeongguk feeling extremely hurt. It was painful enough to remind himself that everything that happened before others wasn’t real, but Yoongi greatly complicated matters by doing little meaningful things in private. Granted, he had no clue what he was doing (Yoongi himself must believe he was just behaving the way a good friend would), but Jeongguk would need to protect his heart a bit better.

He took a deep breath and carefully inspected his reflection. You couldn’t tell he was upset anymore, which was what mattered most, and he’d work harder to hide it in the future. Yoongi would do literally anything for him, for all of them, and he should be able to do the same in return for once.

After rearranging his hair, adjusting his clothes and basically ensuring he looked presentable, he momentarily closed his eyes to compose himself before opening the door and returning to the living room, where Jimin practically wrapped himself around him, and tried to focus on anything other than Yoongi for the remainder of the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much has been happening for me to update this sooner, but here's a chapter at last! Their new tour and now an album made me realise it's about time I write (if they can be busy...!). This chapter is here to help speed things up a bit, because there's a scene I really want to get to and it needs a bit of a build-up.

“Why do they do nachos in a bowling alley?”

Yoongi was frowning down at the menu. For their current date, they had agreed on one of Jeongguk’s choices: bowling. They already had their drinks - coke this time, best not to handle heavy bowling balls with alcohol in their system; plus, alcohol hadn’t exactly been their friend recently - but Yoongi seemed to believe he needed to feed Jeongguk too. Though, to be honest, Jeongguk did tend to carry around snacks everywhere, so he could understand and appreciate Yoongi’s line of thinking.

“They’re pretty standard bowling food,” Jeongguk responded, grinning. He was already amused by the fact that Yoongi had been left with a pair of the sparkliest bowling shoes he’d ever seen, though after Yoongi’s initial resigned sigh, he had walked in them like he was a proud model. Apart from the shoes, he seemed to be somewhat dressed up, though that might be wistful thinking on Jeongguk’s part: ripped jeans with bits of pale skin peeking out, a black shirt and a flannel on top, a long necklace dangling from his neck. He looked hot, which was incredibly annoying.

Jeongguk himself was, against his better judgement, still attempting to accentuate his assets, though this time his jeans weren’t nearly as tight as last time. His shirt was yellow, his lucky colour, even though he was fairly certain it would do him no favours. But a man could hope, right?

After the photo incident, he had considered distancing himself from Yoongi for a bit, just to give his heart a break. Not for long, a few days at most, under the guise of uni work so he wouldn’t raise any suspicions, but long enough that he could build up a little wall to protect himself and be able to continue this fake dating plan afterwards. However, Yoongi had been waiting for him outside his last lecture the very next day, with coffee for himself and banana milk for Jeongguk, and Jeongguk had promptly melted and been unable to brush him off (even though he actually did have homework that night).

And as much as he hated the fact that he could practically feel the small cracks forming in his heart, he couldn’t turn Yoongi away the next day either, or the next, or the day after, when he continued to wait for Jeongguk after class or outside his dorm to walk with him. And so he had also been very much unable to turn down his invitation for their current date. Plus, Yoongi had apologised for taking the picture (to be frank, that hadn’t actually been the issue, but Jeongguk appreciated it nonetheless), using the explanation of: “It seemed like a boyfriendy thing to do.” Which, actually, hadn’t been the same excuse as he had used before. Jeongguk chose not to question it (he did).

Yoongi huffed as he continued to inspect the menu, then he slid it Jeongguk’s way. “You pick, I’m fine with anything. Just try not to order the entire list.”

Not bothering to argue that he wasn’t all that hungry - it was an afternoon date and he’d had lunch not too long ago - Jeongguk got up to place their order, Yoongi’s card in his hand. He could eat something small and inexpensive; at least it wouldn’t make him feel bad for using Yoongi’s money. One day he’d spoil him, maybe, make up for all the times Yoongi had done the same for him.

“Have you ever bowled before?” Jeongguk asked once he had sat back down.

Yoongi shook his head. “I get the general idea, strikes and spares and all that, but that’s about it. Can’t be that hard, though, can it?” He blinked when Jeongguk simply stared at him in disbelief. “...What?”

Not deeming that statement worthy of an answer, Jeongguk shook his head. Sure, bowling wasn’t the hardest thing in the world, but it wasn’t super easy either. He recalled Taehyung once nearly smashing holes into the floor with his bowling ball when he threw it instead of rolling it and hoped Yoongi wouldn’t be quite like him; employees generally didn’t take too kindly to it.

“I’ll go first, you just watch me,” Jeongguk said, getting to his feet. He thought he heard Yoongi mumble something, but he appeared unbothered when Jeongguk looked over at him, so he shrugged it off. After choosing a ball - a yellow one - he got in position, assuming a serious demeanour (hey, he liked Yoongi a lot, but he still wanted to win) as he rolled the ball down the lane and knocked down all the pins in one go.

Holding up his arms triumphantly, he turned back towards Yoongi, who was smiling at him fondly, his eyes soft and endeared. Clearing his throat, his cheeks heating up, Jeongguk lowered his arms and folded them across his chest, then uncrossed them again because he felt self-conscious. Perhaps he should’ve gone for long sleeves instead of trying to show off.

“Okay, your turn,” he said quickly, nodding Yoongi over. “I’ll teach you.”

Raising his eyebrows, Yoongi made his way over. “Do I really need a teacher for this?” he asked sceptically. “It’s just a few pins.”

“I take offence to that,” Jeongguk sniffed, although he had to admit Yoongi might have a point; not everyone was as stubborn as Taehyung could be, who had seemed only more determined to toss the ball whenever he was told not to. Jeongguk lowered his voice and stepped closer. “Look, couples do this kind of thing,” probably, he had no idea, “so just go along with it.” He widened his eyes imploringly, pursing his lips to stop his smile when Yoongi finally relented.

He definitely wasn’t smiling when he had Yoongi’s smaller body before him, his hands on Yoongi’s hips as he murmured instructions into his ear. It was no big deal, he told himself. No big deal that Yoongi’s back was pressed right up against his front. No big deal that Yoongi’s scent was in his nose. And it especially was no big deal that Yoongi made these cute little humming noises to show he was listening.

Jeongguk held his breath as Yoongi leaned further into him to swing his arm, willing his body not to flush hot and raise questions, which it might, seeing how this kept on happening to him. He took a few steps back as soon as Yoongi let go of the ball, knocking down about half the pins, and forced himself to return Yoongi’s smile.

“Watch, I’ll make this a spare,” Yoongi stated, getting ready for his next go. He knocked down only two this time and pouted at his failed attempt, grumbling how he’d do better in the next turn and taking his seat. He grabbed a nacho from the plate that had just arrived and chewed on it as he waved Jeongguk back towards the lane. “Show me how you do it then.”

He shoved one more in his mouth when Jeongguk got another strike.

Not long after, Jeongguk was the one sulkily cramming nachos down his throat. Yoongi had soon stopped following Jeongguk’s tips and was instead squatting down and throwing the ball from between his legs with two hands. It had been cute the first time, but now it was mostly frustrating (that was a lie, it was still cute), because it actually seemed to be helping him score quite a few points and he was currently in the lead. Jeongguk was fine with losing (not really), but he had wanted to impress Yoongi, not come out looking like a fool.

It didn’t help that Yoongi sticking out his butt whenever it was his turn distracted him more than he liked to admit.

“I thought you said you’d never bowled before,” Jeongguk said accusingly, glaring at Yoongi when he returned from a successful spare. Considering that his friends always referred to him as the one who succeeded at everything, it was easy to forget that, actually, Yoongi was much the same. The difference being that if Yoongi didn’t care, he didn’t actually try. And if Yoongi believed he in fact _wasn’t_ good at something, he overcompensated by purposely being extremely bad, a habit that tended to get on Taehyung’s nerves whenever they were paired up on game night.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows as he sat down. “Do I look like a pro, bun?”

Jeongguk opened his mouth, then closed it again, flustered at the nickname. Why did Yoongi always have to make him _feel_ things? God, no wonder he was losing: Yoongi wasn’t constantly distracted by Jeongguk, after all. “It’s just, you’re winning,” he finally pointed out, trying not to sound too disappointed.

Yoongi shrugged. “If you want, you could try it my way. Maybe that’s the secret to it.”

Scoffing, Jeongguk got up for his turn, ignoring Yoongi’s grin. Luck, that was all it was; Yoongi’s way was by no means the right one. Still… Chewing on his lip, he picked up the yellow ball again, considering. Although part of him felt almost insulted at the idea of following Yoongi’s example, perhaps it could work. If nothing else, it might make Yoongi laugh. Besides, they were here to have fun, not to encourage his competitive side (though he knew Yoongi was just as bad as he was, really).

His tongue stuck in his cheek, he bent through his knees and rolled the ball forward, blinking in surprise when he got a strike. He turned to face Yoongi, who was cheering and laughing, clapping his hands like Jeongguk had done something amazing, and as Jeongguk watched his gleeful expression, he felt warm and tingly. Who cared about winning a stupid game if he could make Yoongi react like that?

Some giggling to his right made him glance over and he flushed when he spotted a group of girls watching him while whispering among themselves. He had seen them doing the same thing earlier, to Yoongi as well, but it was getting harder to ignore now that they seemed to be louder and more obvious than before. He quickly shuffled over to Yoongi and pressed against his side, tilting his head to whisper to him.

“Those girls keep staring at us.”

Yoongi scanned his face carefully, then looked over his shoulder, humming. “That group over there, with the blonde girl in the centre?”

Jeongguk nodded.

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi turned around again, a slight scowl marring his features. “They’re in a few of my classes. Tell me…” He placed his hands on Jeongguk’s cheeks and gently pulled him down towards him, their faces barely a breath apart. Jeongguk’s eyes widened, his heart rate speeding up. Fuck, what was he doing? “Are they still watching us?”

Jeongguk forced himself to glance in the girls’ direction, seeing their eager smiles as they seemed to inch forward, and felt an uncomfortable shudder run down his spine. He swiftly refocused on Yoongi and nodded the best he could with Yoongi’s large hands still right there, undoubtedly feeling the heat of his skin, which was growing almost unbearable.

Yoongi nodded slowly in return, his eyes never leaving Jeongguk’s, and Jeongguk was reminded of the club, when they had nearly kissed. He nervously licked his lips, the tip of his tongue grazing Yoongi’s mouth, and nearly recoiled at the touch. God, it was so difficult to resist the urge to just lean in, to lick along the seam of his mouth and to kiss him the way he had wanted to for so long, to finally give in and just _take_. That one, barely there touch had only worsened the fire in his belly and Yoongi’s dark, dark eyes with the pupils blown wide weren’t doing anything to simmer it down.

“They like gay boys,” Yoongi stated suddenly, pulling Jeongguk from whatever headspace he had been sinking into. What?

“Those girls,” Yoongi continued, when Jeongguk simply stared at him. “They like the idea of boys making out. Especially pretty boys, like you.” Jeongguk swallowed and tried to shake his head, but Yoongi merely smiled. “No, you _are_ pretty. Saying they like gay boys might be going too far, to be honest: they like the idea of them, but blondie, for example, doesn’t agree with marriage equality.”

Oh. It made sense now. The fetishisation of the gays. Or of anyone who isn’t cishet, Jeongguk supposed. He knew it existed - had gotten into plenty of arguments with some of his friends from high school, for example, who talked about lesbians like they were only there to fulfil some kind of fantasy - but had never truly experienced it himself. Well, of course he hadn’t: his experience was mostly limited to the bedroom and was not so much about being out and proud in public. It made him feel strange. Inhuman, almost, like he was some alien species to be gawked at, and he decided to focus on Yoongi instead. Yoongi, who had undoubtedly encountered this before and wasn’t letting it stop him from being himself.

“I don’t like it,” Jeongguk muttered.

“I know,” Yoongi replied. He stared at Jeongguk a moment longer, then moved one of his hands so he could leave the softest kiss on Jeongguk’s cheek, just about giving him a heart attack. He slid his hands down to Jeongguk’s shoulders and squeezed them before pulling back. “Ignore them, babybun. But I can tell them to piss off if you want me to.”

Jeongguk nodded wordlessly and gazed at Yoongi when he stood up.

“Now…” Yoongi grinned. “Ready to watch me win?”

If Yoongi’s face looked somewhat pink, Jeongguk told himself it was a trick of the light.

*******

It was three o’clock in the morning, and Jeongguk couldn’t sleep. Look. He knew Yoongi hadn’t meant anything by it, had only wanted to make a point and then decided to mess with the girls in his own way. Kisses on the cheek were no big deal, really: Hoseok loved giving them and Taehyung was always secretly hoping to receive them. Still, it wasn’t something the two of _them_ did with each other. Then again, if they were meant to be dating…

It was all so much. Constantly having to remind himself it was all fake yet at the same time questioning Yoongi’s every move - it was exhausting. And, sure, he could see all this as the opportunity Taehyung and Jimin considered it to be, but that was honestly terrifying and he had no idea how to even use the situation to his advantage.

Groaning, he flailed around in bed, wishing he could at least sleep, but no, his stupid brain had decided he just needed to think about this right now. The frustrating thing was that Yoongi seemed so _confident_ about it all, while Jeongguk was a giant ball of gay panic (though he’d mentioned this to Jimin the other day, and Jimin had nearly choked on his own tongue while laughing).

He just. He knew he wasn’t disliked - people thought he was cute, he was aware of that much. Sometimes, however, he could get stuck in his head. When he had entered uni, he had lost contact with his high school friends quite quickly. Which was fine, distance and all that, and he was rather terrible at responding to messages, but it had nonetheless made him insecure about maintaining friendships. After all, even if people liked him, that didn’t necessarily mean they wanted to be friends.

When Taehyung and Jimin had first taken him under their wing, he had been kind of confused, and when he had been introduced to the rest of their friend group, he had initially assumed they only put up with him because they liked Taehyung and Jimin so much. He had been pleasantly surprised to learn differently and by now he of course knew better.

Romantic relationships, on the other hand, remained difficult. Sex was easy. Sex was physical.

Romance was feelings.

People enjoyed sex with him. They didn’t, however, enjoy actually _being_ with him. As a person, he didn’t count; as a body, he did.

God, he needed to stop thinking about this. Perhaps he should count sheep so he could fall asleep. Or Clouds (his dog’s name was Cloud and he missed that fluffy little thing). Yoongis. No, no, definitely not that.

Sighing deeply, he reached for his phone and figured he might as well try to distract himself online or play a game or something. Something mindless. Besides, it was often easier to fall asleep when you were trying to stay awake; one of those fascinating brain oddities, similar to how simple it was to fall asleep anywhere, but once you got in bed, you’d be wide awake. (Except, well, Jeongguk could generally fall asleep anywhere.)

There were some messages from his friends: a dance class reminder from Hoseok, a request from Namjoon to help work on a song, and a message from Yoongi.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_you still awake?_

It had been sent around midnight, but Jeongguk had plugged in his phone hours ago and ignored it since, volume off so he wouldn’t be disturbed. He hesitated, fingers on the keys, yet couldn’t help but reply. Worst decision, most likely, since he was trying _not_ to think of him, but now that he’d read it, he was curious what Yoongi had wanted from him.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_i am now_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_wtf go to sleep_

Jeongguk snorted at the hypocrisy, a small grin on his face.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_ur one to talk!!_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_hey, do as I say, not as I do_

_but before I start asking about your reasons for being up, can I ask you something else?_

_To: Yoonkitten_

_sure, what’s up?_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_okay, so… I assume you know me well enough to know I wouldn’t ask you this for no reason_

Well, that was worrying. All kinds of things were going through Jeongguk’s head now, but before it could get out of hand, he decided he better let Yoongi explain.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_…...go on_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_this is really fucking awkward_

_but_

_have you ever sent naked pictures to anyone?_

Wow, what? Jeongguk’s heart started racing nervously, his eyes widening. Was this Yoongi’s way of asking for nudes? Because Jeongguk was not ready for that at all and it kind of came out of nowhere; they should probably do some talking before any of that could be put on the table. Though he didn’t think he’d be opposed, it might be hot, but… perhaps not just yet. Wait, why would Yoongi even ask such a thing? It made no sense at all. Was this part of their pretend boyfriends thing? In case anyone looked through his gallery? But wasn’t that kind of extreme?

_From: Yoonkitten_

_bunny?_

God, why use a petname when Jeongguk was going through a crisis of sorts? Then again, he always was nowadays. Taking a deep breath, he tapped his keyboard and decided to play dumb: just answer the question, but not ask any questions of his own.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_i’m here_

_and no_

Not that guys had never asked, but he’d never trusted them enough not to spread them about. He’d received a few, though, unsolicited and unwanted, and somehow often highly unflattering. The amount of people who just waved their dick around with no sense for angles or lighting was astounding, though Jeongguk could understand it was less about aesthetics and more about getting off. Still, if he were to ever share those kinds of pictures with anyone, he’d rather be able to be somewhat proud of them afterwards.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_oh_

_thank god_

_To: Yoonkitten_

_????_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_ah, I was on….. let’s say an adult website_

_and there were some pics of a guy who looked A LOT like you_

_wanted to make sure some ass hadn’t uploaded anything without your permission_

Oh. Right. So Yoongi watched porn. Not shocking, not even news, because the topic had come up before, but the thought of him doing it at night, with likely a goal in mind… It was infinitely hotter than any of those pictures had ever been. Part of him couldn’t help but wonder if the pictures of his apparent look-alike had caught Yoongi’s interest, even for just a moment before his moral code had overpowered any form of arousal and he’d been ready to fight whomever could’ve done such a thing. His protective streak was pretty cute.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_nah, no one has any_

_but thanks for asking_

Then, overtaken by a sudden bout of bravery, he sent another message.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_but what if it had been me and i’d uploaded them myself?_

He watched the three dots appear and disappear multiple times as he awaited Yoongi’s response and he wished he could hide under his pillow and take it back. Had that been too much? Too forward? Too weird?

_From: Yoonkitten_

_okay_

_don’t really know what to say to that_

_I guess I’d be supportive??_

_I mean, you can do whatever you want_

_would probably be a little surprised, ngl_

Jeongguk chewed on his lip and considered his next step. The cover of the darkness and the distance were making him more daring and he wondered if he should push Yoongi further. At this rate, what did he really have to lose? If Yoongi said anything about it, he could always pretend his sleepiness was affecting him and making him act differently, which it often did. Besides, he… he genuinely wanted to know.

He typed out his next message and tossed his phone aside as soon as he’d pressed send, closing his eyes as he worried over Yoongi’s reply, unsure what he even wished it to be.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_would you have looked more in that case?_

It took him a few minutes to anxiously check his phone once more and he released a shaky breath when he saw what Yoongi had sent.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_would you have minded if I had?_

_To: Yoonkitten_

_no_

_i mean_

_they wouldve been uploaded because i wanted people to see, right?_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_good_

_yes_

Jeongguk stared at his screen for far too long. Did Yoongi mean what he think he meant? And if he did, did that really mean anything at all? It was merely physical, after all. Still, to go from simple appreciation to this was quite a leap for people who were meant to be friends, in Jeongguk’s opinion, especially since the two of them never did anything like this.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_tell you what_

_as my boyfriend, you’ll be the first to know if i ever post any_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_why post them if you can just send them directly?_

This was backfiring rapidly. All Jeongguk had wanted to do was turn this into a joke, deflect, but he hadn’t expected Yoongi to take him on. He imagined what it would be like to do exactly that, or to have Yoongi take them for him, even, and then decided it was best to stop that train of thought very quickly. He could admit they were flirting, sort of, a bit, but there were limitations to such a thing, and thinking far too explicit thoughts of his best friend/fake boyfriend was one of them.

Then again, Yoongi was encouraging it, wasn’t he?

His phone lit up with a new text and after a few moments of hesitation, Jeongguk swiped to read it.

_From: Yoonkitten_

_and I’ve made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry :/_

_or you’ve fallen asleep_

_or something else that has nothing to do with me_

Despite his inner struggle, Jeongguk couldn’t help but soften at Yoongi’s concern. He was sweet.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_not asleep or uncomfortable, but i am tired……_

_might try to sleep_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_good idea_

_I think I’ll do the same_

_well, I still have the website open, but after_

Spluttering and red-faced, Jeongguk covered his face with his hand, mental images he had just tried so hard to suppress rushing back to the forefront of his mind. God, he still wasn’t used to Yoongi being this direct and he realised he’d likely never survive actually dating him. He did have a way with words and the idea of Yoongi simply telling him what he wanted to do to him, or what he wanted Jeongguk to do… Nope, best not to go there.

He took a deep breath and responded as normally as possible, and like he wasn’t on the verge of imploding.

_To: Yoonkitten_

_have fun, i guess??_

_sleep well later!_

_From: Yoonkitten_

_oh, I will_

_and I will_

_sweet dreams, babybun_

Jeongguk placed his phone aside and pulled the covers over his head, cursing himself for wondering whether Yoongi was getting off to the images of his doppelganger. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got kind of dirty (the muses got impatient, so this happened). Updated the tags as well!

People only cared if you were loud enough. A ridiculous claim that was completely untrue: of course there were people who noticed the quieter ones. If they didn’t, Jeongguk, for one, would have had no friends. However, he was in a certain mood today, not helped by the entire Yoongi situation, his stressful university work (apparently he had completely forgotten about a very large, important essay), or the girl currently chattering away at Hoseok. Although that last part was kind of unfair on his part: the girl was a sweet one (Rosa, Jeongguk knew her name was) who had greeted him kindly and it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t remember Jeongguk.

Still, it stung.

Hoseok had met Rosa once, at a uni event, and they had admittedly talked for quite a bit - but Jeongguk had been there too. Not quite as noticeably as Hoseok, who was more extroverted and able to put himself out there more (and yes, Jeongguk knew it wasn’t always easy for him), but he had been present. In fact, he’d met Rosa again later on, in the library, where they’d talked for a bit. Sure, that had been a while ago, but she remembered Hoseok, didn’t she?

It was difficult sometimes, to be friends with people who were so much more memorable than him. Taehyung could actually be very silent, depending on his mood, but he was open and inviting for people to talk to, while Jimin could be shy, yet he wasn’t afraid to ask for attention and affection when he needed it. Namjoon was remembered for his brain, Seokjin for being chaotic and daring (he often broke the ice through acting silly or exaggerating his confidence, as much as he could be embarrassed by it at the same time), and Yoongi had this quiet confidence he used to speak up when he felt it was necessary. Jeongguk loved them all and knew they had their own struggles, but he felt like he was floating somewhere between them and the outside world forgot he existed on occasion.

Which was why he put so much effort into being good at everything he tried, why he did his best to make his friends laugh or went along with their antics when invited to do so, but at the end of the day the spotlight made him nervous and he hadn’t quite reached the point yet where he could be comfortable with too many eyes on him. So he knew the problem was also very much on his part, because how could he be noticed if he tried to remain invisible? Not that he wanted the entire world to notice him, but… well, he wished more people did.

(And whenever he thought that way, he felt ungrateful towards his friends, and then he’d simply spiral down until something pulled him out of it.)

A gentle touch to his elbow dragged him from his thoughts and he blinked down at Rosa, who was smiling at him prettily.

“I’m leaving now, but I wanted to say that it was nice to meet you!” She nodded over at Hoseok, who saluted her, making her laugh. “Have a good day, you two.”

“You too,” Jeongguk said, alongside Hoseok, trying to ignore the fact that she clearly hadn’t remembered him even at the end. It didn’t matter, really, some people were simply dreadful with names and faces. Well, except with Hoseok’s, Jeongguk supposed. Speaking of Hoseok: his friend was eyeing him curiously. Jeongguk threw a smile his way, not wanting him to worry, and in response Hoseok slung an arm around his shoulder.

“She’s a nice girl,” he stated. Jeongguk nodded in agreement, because she was. “I’m sure she didn’t mean to forget you on purpose, so try not to take it to heart.”

Jeongguk tensed up. God, had he been that obvious? Hoseok squeezed him closer, then subtly nudged him to keep on walking. “I know you’ve met before, Kook, I was there,” Hoseok pointed out, smiling over at Jeongguk reassuringly. “You were fine, don’t worry. And I know it sucks, but it doesn’t say anything about your worth - or hers.”

“I know,” Jeongguk mumbled, shrugging his shoulders as best as he could with Hoseok draped over him. It was easy to forget how observing Hoseok was, and right now Jeongguk wasn’t sure if he appreciated this quality or not. “Just having a rough week, that’s all,” he added by way of explanation, because he had a feeling Hoseok wouldn’t let this go that easily.

Hoseok hummed, staring at him intently, unnervingly. “Does this have anything to do with a certain boyfriend of yours?”

Right, this was getting kind of eerie. Jeongguk stopped walking and furrowed his eyebrows. “Why do you say that?” he asked, aware that he sounded far too defensive. Hoseok asked a reasonable question, there was no need for him to be rude - especially since he was right, though he’d rather keep that to himself.

Heaving a deep sigh, Hoseok directed the both of them towards a quieter part of campus, where they could talk without the risk of constant interruptions. “First of all, I’d like to point out that I thought this was a stupid idea from the start, but you both seemed okay with it, so I decided to let you be adults and make your own decisions.”

“Thanks?” Was Jeongguk meant to be thankful? This was confusing.

“No, don’t thank me,” Hoseok said sternly, “because clearly I made a mistake. Adults or not, I think you were blinded by your feelings. I mean, I wasn’t sure at the time, but I had a hunch. And your reaction to the pictures Yoongi took, how you’ve turned inwards - it all confirmed it.” He looked a terrified Jeongguk in the eye and smiled at him. “No, he doesn’t know. I don’t know if anyone else does either.”

“Jimin and Taehyung,” Jeongguk blurted out. If Hoseok knew, well, might as well tell him this too, right? It was actually almost a relief to have someone else in their group of friends know about this, like a weight had lifted off his shoulders. At the same time, he kind of hoped no one else would find out; the less people who knew, the less risk of Yoongi finding out. It was much easier to let something slip if more people were aware of it.

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows. “And they were okay with this whole thing?”

“ _I_ decided,” Jeongguk reminded him, bristling at the thought of needing his friends’ approval. Of course Hoseok was only looking out for him, but hey, if Jeongguk was willing to make a mistake, he would do so regardless of what anyone else said. However… “They seemed to think it would give me the chance to seduce him or something,” he admitted, feeling childish now that he said it out loud. What a silly idea, really, though he supposed it was something straight out of the fanfics Taehyung seemed to read.

Hoseok nodded his head thoughtfully. “I guess I could see where they’re coming from. God knows he had a crush on you for the longest time.”

It took a moment for Jeongguk to process those words, but once he did, he felt like all his limbs had gone numb. Surely he had heard wrong, or this was a joke, or, well. It couldn’t be true, right? “He- he what?”

The look Hoseok gave him was apologetic, almost pitying. “This was before Mike, but he wouldn’t shut up about you. I don’t want to give you any false hope, because I don’t know how he feels now, so please don’t start expecting anything. But…” He shrugged. “It’s not too far-fetched. And he might hate me for telling you, but to be honest, I hate seeing you like this and feel like you deserve to know this much.”

Jeongguk nearly blurted out the story of their near kiss, but he didn’t want to see actual pity on Hoseok’s face, so he kept that to himself. “I won’t tell him,” he promised instead, pretending - always pretending - his heart rate hadn’t doubled and he wasn’t dying to ask more. He knew Hoseok wouldn’t share more than he already had, but god, Jeongguk wished he would.

He had never had any idea, Yoongi never letting on anything of the sort. Of course “before Mike” was quite some time ago, but even so, how had Jeongguk never noticed? Things might have been completely different if he had known. Perhaps Mike would have never been around and instead it would have been Yoongi and Jeongguk, as it was right now, except real. Or perhaps they wouldn’t have worked out and everything would have been much more terrible than it was now.

On the one hand, Hoseok telling him this was extremely helpful: at least he wasn’t alone in his feelings, even if the person who shared his struggle was past Yoongi, not present Yoongi. On the other hand, it was confusing him even more, unsure what to believe. Did this add an extra layer to their moments or not?

Hoseok flicked his ear, startling him from his thoughts. “Don’t make me regret telling you,” he admonished. “I just wanted you to know it’s not completely impossible for anything to happen. I’d tell you to just talk to him, but I have a feeling that advice would go ignored.” He raised his eyebrows at Jeongguk, who didn’t even bother to deny it. Hey, if Yoongi didn’t talk to him back then, why should he talk now? (Somehow he felt that hadn’t at all been the point Hoseok was trying to make.)

“You know we love you, don’t you?”

Jeongguk peeked over at an unnervingly serious Hoseok and nodded. Yes. As much as he could wonder why, realistically, he knew they did. They made it clear often enough and Hoseok would never have bothered to have this conversation with him if he didn’t.

“And you don’t need other people’s acknowledgement,” Hoseok continued. “Or even ours, to be frank.”

Jeongguk knew that too. Acknowledgement was nice, but at the end of the day, should he truly rely on what everyone else thought of him? Was he more valid if he conformed to their ideas? That being said, he did greatly appreciate Hoseok understanding that this went deeper than the Yoongi problem; that situation was merely forcing him to face issues he generally tried to ignore. And successfully: he could be confident, his life wasn’t a series of self-hatred and cynicism. That didn’t mean those feelings never played a part, however.

“I know,” Jeongguk confirmed.

Hoseok smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “Good. Now learn to believe it.”

*******

“And then, after I had already made the alterations, he told me to change it all back, because ‘the original was better’. Like I hadn’t told him so a million times!”

Jeongguk stared at Yoongi as he ranted about his project partner for one of his classes. Ever since Hoseok had shared the news of Yoongi’s past crush, he had started to analyse every moment they’d ever had. Well, every moment he could remember; he couldn’t exactly recall all of them, though he wished he could. Namjoon had once said that the thing he wanted most from the Harry Potter universe was a Pensieve, and Jeongguk could see why.

There was nothing he could think of that showed any sign of a crush, but Yoongi might just be very good at hiding it. It was also concerning: Yoongi wasn’t usually shy, so why hadn’t he pursued Jeongguk? Was it because they had already been friends and he hadn’t wanted to ruin that, or was it because, in fact, his crush hadn’t been that significant after all? Taehyung once claimed he’d had a crush on someone on the train, for the sole reason that they apparently had the prettiest eyelashes he’d ever seen. In Jeongguk’s view, that could hardly be called a crush, but Taehyung fiercely disagreed. Yoongi could potentially be more like Taehyung: getting crushes over the silliest reasons, not worth making a move.

“Why can’t you just work alone?” Jeongguk asked, more for the sake of having something to say. Of course he couldn’t, if everyone could skip out on group assignment, they would. Jeongguk wasn’t sure what was worse: working with people who did absolutely nothing and left you to carry it all, or working with people who chose to be in charge of literally everything, leaving barely any room for negotiation. He recalled one group partner who, as soon as class had ended, had forwarded them all an email with an overview of what needed to be done, stopping just short of assigning everyone their parts. (Admittedly, it had been rather helpful, but Jeongguk had felt lazy for not coming up with the same idea.)

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Because teamwork is important. Which it is, don’t get me wrong, but this guy doesn’t take his classes seriously whatsoever and the odds of me encountering someone like him in the field as a coworker are extremely small. Now, as a client from hell: yes. But you could potentially fire those.”

Jeongguk nodded in agreement, although he doubted a newbie on the market could afford to turn away too many clients.

Yoongi had invited him round for a private meal - he had kicked Seokjin out for the night, declaring that he wanted to hang out with Jeongguk alone, but without the pressure of their relationship weighing down on them. It was very sweet, and kind of confusing, but Jeongguk hadn’t asked any questions, not wanting Yoongi’s answers to ruin it.

He supposed they were first and foremost friends and Yoongi simply wanted to make sure they did normal things together too. Though him cooking them a meal, including a simple dessert, did nothing to diminish the boyfriend aesthetic. It hadn’t even been just any meal: he had managed to prepare one of Jeongguk’s favourites and had appeared oddly shy when he’d handed him his plate. But that might be all in Jeongguk’s head. The only thing he was sure of was that Yoongi was incredibly cute, his apron still tied around his waist when he’d opened the door to Jeongguk, apologising for not being done yet, some sauce smeared on his forehead. Although Yoongi was in fact one of the better cooks in their little group, it was easy to forget since he didn’t do it a lot. The fact that he had planned this for them, for _him_ , made Jeongguk feel sort of special.

After they had finished eating, they had migrated over to the settee and Yoongi had broken out some wine, announcing that he’d bought it especially for tonight, making butterflies flutter in Jeongguk’s stomach as that feeling increased. Despite neither of them calling it such, it felt a little like a date. A real one, not one they were putting on for an audience, and it was messing with Jeongguk’s head.

Jeongguk watched Yoongi’s lips move and decided he had the prettiest mouth. He then wondered how much, exactly, he’d had to drink, because whoa, he was fairly certain he wasn’t supposed to be drunk yet. It was true, though: Yoongi’s natural pout when he spoke, the way he formed his words - it was all very pretty. All of Yoongi was, to be fair, even his voice, that deep drawl that never failed to entice.

“Anyway,” Yoongi sighed, taking a sip from his wine, “enough about that idiot. Tell me what you’ve been up to, because I feel like we’ve only been talking about me. Have I missed anything?”

Jeongguk shook his head, then frowned when he recalled what was still bothering him for some reason. ( _For some reason_ , like he wasn’t still riddled with insecurities. Hoseok had helped a bit, but it hadn’t been enough to stop him from thinking about it entirely.) “I was with Hoseok the other day,” he began.

Yoongi blinked at him, undoubtedly not seeing this as news (which it wasn’t), yet patiently waiting for him to elaborate. Jeongguk had to fix his eyes on the table as he continued, unsure why he even needed to get this out. Yoongi would probably think he was foolish for being upset, yet he couldn’t shut up. And maybe it would help him to talk about it more.

“We ran into this girl. She started talking to Hoseok and she was nice and all, but…” He cleared his throat, trying to make it sound like it didn’t bother him much, even though they both knew better. “She had no idea I’d met her before too.”

He chanced a look up at Yoongi, who was staring back attentively, a tad worriedly, like he was wondering where this was going. Jeongguk flashed him a smile and shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s no big deal. Just… It made me realise I’m kind of forgettable.”

“Hey, no.”

Yoongi put his glass down on the table before carefully splaying his fingers across Jeongguk’s jaw to meet his gaze, in a mimicry of their moment at the bowling alley, except this time there were no giggling girls nearby. “You are many things, but forgettable isn’t one of them,” Yoongi told him, sounding far more serious than Jeongguk had expected him to, eyes boring into his. “And I’ll fight anyone who makes you think you are.”

Jeongguk chuckled awkwardly, but Yoongi’s expression didn’t change. If anything, it got more intense, and Jeongguk- Jeongguk sucked his lip into his mouth, noting how Yoongi’s pupils dilated as he watched the motion. This was… This was weird, right? They didn’t do this, not without reason (then again, Jeongguk had a hard time recalling their reasoning for the club).

“I’m serious.” One of Yoongi’s thumbs brushed against the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth. “I hate the idea of you feeling like you’re not good enough,” Yoongi muttered. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

“How much have you had to drink?” Jeongguk asked, in an attempt to deflect, because god, it felt so different from when Hoseok had spoken to him about this and he was unsure how to react.

“Not much,” Yoongi admitted, his voice low. “You?”

Jeongguk swallowed, nervous. Why was Yoongi asking? What did this mean? “Me neither.”

“Good, good.” Yoongi bit down on his bottom lip, hesitating for only a moment longer before leaning in, stopping just short of actually kissing him. “Is this okay?” he asked softly. Jeongguk nodded once, eagerly, feeling a little like he was floating, because surely this couldn’t really be happening? Yet Yoongi moved closer, finally, _finally_ , pressing his lips to Jeongguk’s. Jeongguk whimpered and reached out to grasp Yoongi’s hair and keep him near, Yoongi moaning in return.

Fuck, this was what he’d been wanting for so long, yet none of his fantasies could beat the reality of Yoongi’s warmth, the soft wetness of his tongue sliding into Jeongguk’s mouth, the touch of his hands against his skin, now sliding down towards his chest. Jeongguk breathed out his name when their lips parted and he tilted his head back, eyes closed, when Yoongi’s mouth travelled lower, working the spot right beneath his ear and making him gasp. He had no idea what had gotten into Yoongi, or into himself, but he didn’t even care at this point. If Yoongi was only doing this to cheer him up, well, he’d take it and suffer the consequences later.

“Your body is a sin,” Yoongi whispered against Jeongguk’s neck, one of his hands groping Jeongguk’s thigh while the other moved to his stomach, tracing his abs through the thin layer of his shirt. He groaned quietly when Jeongguk flexed them.

Jeongguk chuckled breathlessly, shifting and pressing his legs together to hide his arousal. “It’s like you only like me for my body,” he teased.

Yoongi pulled back immediately, the look in his eyes wild and serious. “ _No._ Jeongguk, you-” He took a deep breath and shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as though he were trying to calm himself down. When he met his eyes once more, they appeared to be darker, yet there was something else in there too, and Jeongguk wondered what it was.

“You are not your body,” Yoongi said firmly. “Your body is an amazing addition to everything else you have to offer, but it’s not the most important thing. To be honest, it’s pretty far down on the list.”

“So then why did you kiss me?”

A little voice in the back of Jeongguk’s head was yelling at him over ruining this moment, because his words seemed to lift some sort of haze and Yoongi was now staring at him with slightly widened eyes. He started moving away, but Jeongguk didn’t want this to end, didn’t know when he could have this again. No, they probably shouldn’t be doing this, but they also shouldn’t be fake dating, so what did it matter? Apart from the fact that it felt like there was a hole in his heart, of course, but he could deal with that. He’d had a taste and Yoongi was addicting as hell.

“No, don’t- don’t stop.” Jeongguk placed Yoongi’s hands on his waist and shuddered at the realisation that they enveloped most of it. He couldn’t help but imagine what they would be like in bed, Yoongi holding him tightly to keep him in place or to pull him back against him, and he sought out Yoongi’s lips again.

“Wait, bun, wait.” Yoongi gently pushed against his sternum so he could look him in the eyes. “What do you want from me?”

It could have been the perfect moment to be truthful. To confess. Jeongguk licked his lips and clutched at Yoongi’s shirt. “Just touch me,” he muttered. “Please.”

Yoongi regarded him a little longer, then kissed him once more, one hand slipping beneath Jeongguk’s shirt and lightly scratching. Jeongguk whined and arched his back, his mouth opening easily so Yoongi could lick inside, Jeongguk’s own tongue playing with his eagerly. This was stupid, so stupid, but he brushed that aside and tilted his head for a better angle. Fuck, Yoongi was a good kisser. Why his boyfriends hadn’t constantly been making out with him was a mystery.

When Yoongi’s free hand fell to his lap, Jeongguk gasped loudly and spread his legs, a silent request for more.

Yoongi swore against him and ran the pads of his fingers along Jeongguk’s zipper, his touch light. “Is this what you need, baby?” he breathed.

Yoongi really needed to not talk like that. Jeongguk whimpered and nodded urgently, his thighs falling open further. “Yes, yes, please.”

Yoongi pressed a hard kiss to his lips, then stopped momentarily to utter “don’t be quiet” before moving to Jeongguk’s neck. He sucked slowly as he unzipped Jeongguk’s jeans, nibbled lightly as he used both hands to tug both the jeans and underwear down, Jeongguk lifting his hips to help, breathing heavily.

At the first touch of those fingers curling around his cock, Jeongguk moaned so loudly he promptly flushed bright red. He contemplated covering his mouth, but recalling Yoongi’s words, he decided not to. Yoongi set up a leisurely pace to get him fully hard, his fingers rubbing over the head repeatedly, sticky precum clinging to them which he spread along the length. He attached his mouth to Jeongguk’s collarbone and sped up the movement of his hand when Jeongguk started thrusting into his grip, needing more.

Yoongi had called Jeongguk’s body a sin, but fuck, Yoongi as an entirety must be sin indeed, because he seemed to know exactly when to flick his wrist, where to press his mouth, and it was highly unfair that he only seemed to be getting more perfect in Jeongguk’s eyes. At least before this, he could pretend that perhaps they wouldn’t be sexually compatible (though he could’ve lived with that), but it was clear now that this was wrong. Not only did Yoongi know just how to touch him, but he also seemed to be getting turned on from Jeongguk’s noises alone, releasing small sounds of his own whenever Jeongguk got a little louder and sucking with more urgency.

Eventually, Yoongi pulled back and stared down at Jeongguk’s cock, at his own hand covering it, and Jeongguk should probably be embarrassed, but right now it was only adding to his arousal. Yoongi’s gaze flickered back upwards and he swallowed hard.

“Fuck, baby, I want- Can I-”

He didn’t finish his sentence, but whatever he wanted to do was more than okay with Jeongguk; he would let him do about anything to him right now, which he let him know by moaning out his agreement. Yoongi chewed on his lip, then nearly gave Jeongguk a heart attack when he bent forward, moving his head to Jeongguk’s lap. Was he…?

Jeongguk’s mouth fell open, a groan coming from deep within when Yoongi’s tongue lapped at the very tip of his cock. God, this was- he didn’t even know.

“You taste as good as I imagined,” Yoongi murmured, or Jeongguk thought that was what he said at least, but surely not? It didn’t matter anyway, and he couldn’t exactly ask, because Yoongi chose that moment to take him between his lips, suckling at him and bobbing his head swiftly, and Jeongguk lost all ability to think.

“Yoongi, I’m, I’m gonna-” Jeongguk tugged on Yoongi’s hair to get him to pull off, but that only seemed to spur him on - interesting. Yoongi’s hand fell lower, lingering for a moment before pressing against his perineum, his tongue flicking against the part of Jeongguk’s cock that was in his mouth, and Jeongguk could no longer hold it in, coming down his throat with the loudest moan yet, falling back against the settee when Yoongi seemed intent on sucking him dry.

Once he was done and Yoongi sat back up, having swallowed everything he could, Jeongguk looked down at Yoongi’s crotch, breathing out shakily at how hard he was. Before Yoongi could say anything, Jeongguk undid his pants and shoved them out of the way. “Your turn,” he whispered, manoeuvring Yoongi so he was kneeling over him and jerking him off fast. He was wet enough that Jeongguk could _hear_ him and if he hadn’t come just seconds ago, he’d be hard again.

Yoongi’s hands were on Jeongguk’s shoulders and Jeongguk stared up at him, wondering once again how they’d gotten here but not particularly unhappy about it (that would come later). When Yoongi started rocking his hips, Jeongguk angled his cock down so it was aimed at his own, further speeding up the movement of his hand. He saw the glint of surprise in Yoongi’s eyes, intermingling with his lust, and smirked up at him, happy to be able to put that look on his face.

“Come on me, Yoongi.”

Yoongi curled in on himself as he came, his stomach muscles contracting, cock pulsating as it spurted out ropes of cum which landed on Jeongguk’s own spent length, which twitched feebly at the sensation.

Jeongguk allowed Yoongi to curl up on him after as he came down from his high, keeping his dirtied hand out of the way and stroking Yoongi’s hair with the clean one. That had been hotter than most of his previous sexual encounters, and they had barely even done anything.

“You’re a little bit kinky, aren’t you?” Yoongi muttered against his shoulder, rolling his head and opening one eye to look up at him accusatorily.

“You liked it,” Jeongguk countered, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Yoongi grumbled, then shrugged and grinned at him tiredly. “That I did.” He crawled off Jeongguk and stretched once he was back on his feet. “We should probably get cleaned up.” He glanced down at Jeongguk’s groin, his eyes hooded. He cleared his throat and stepped back, averting his eyes. “You can go first if you want.”

And all at once the atmosphere was uncomfortable. “Yeah. Thanks.” Jeongguk carefully got up and kicked off his clothes; no point pulling them up at this point. “I’ll be fast,” he promised, throwing a brief smile Yoongi’s way before making his way to the bathroom.

Once he was in the shower, the water washing away his and Yoongi’s combined cum, he leaned his head against the wall and wondered how he could’ve fucked up this badly this quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you'd like, and if you'd like to chat, come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/golden_kimono). <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you liked this - or not! Next part has the Irish Bomb friendship (meaning they get drunk).


End file.
